Star Trek

EDIT: When done reading what I had to say in 2006, please also read this where I basically tell myself I am full of it. I leave this here and intact though in the interest of historical accuracy.  I was wrong, and I shouldn't try to erase that fact.  Thank you.  Now, back to the past:

I’ve been doing this blog for quite a while now, despite the intermittent regularity of my postings, and oddly enough, I have never indulged in any real rant about one of my very favorite subjects:
Star Trek.

It should be no big surprise that as a big geek I am into Star Trek. I am one of those people who attend conventions (at least when they are close), buy the season set DVDs, and yes, I have not one but two different Star Trek uniforms hanging in my closet (I have never worn them to jury duty however, and never to work without a very good reason). I don’t have any Star Trek tattoos however, and I do watch and enjoy other shows. I am also quite willing to point out Star Trek’s errors- we’ll get to that in a moment.

I’m just gonna talk about Trek for a while here; what I like and don’t like, why I’m into it, and why I consider myself a Trekker rather than a Trekkie.

I am not quite old enough to have watched Classic Trek during its first run. My first memories of the Starship Enterprise bounce between the animated series, the Gold Key comic books, and the occasional rerun. My Dad did like Trek though, and when I was about six gave me a battered copy (which I still own) of James Blish’s first “Star Trek Reader.” These collected a series of short story adaptations of the Classic show and induced me to run around with my disc firing phaser toy and a red sweatshirt.

For a while though, while I liked my Trek, my consciousness was overwhelmed by that other Star thing, the one George Lucas made. I watched Star Trek: The Motion Picture with interest though, and got a real kick out of Star Trek II when it came out.

Then, my Dad bought me a Dungeons and Dragons set for Christmas, much to my mom’s chagrin. She felt it was evil and all, and I dove right into the idea of role playing (being a child of overactive imagination anyway) but was looking for something a bit more space oriented (always looking to the stars I was, never my mind on where I was…). At the local hobby and game shop, I saw on the shelf the Fasa “Star Trek: The Role-Playing Game.” My mom bought it for me to lure me away from spells and demons, and it worked. My little dice were rolling now to see if I made a successful transition from normal space to warp space rather than to see if my sword of ogre decapitation was working.

After this I plummeted headlong into the world of Trek. We rented videodiscs (not laserdiscs mind you, but the vinyl videodisc!) of classic episodes. I read the photonovels. I contacted other geeky fanboys through the mail (we had no internet boys and girls). As I grew I made up tales of my own origins in the 23rd century and a desperate mission back to the 20th century to save it from marauding Romulans. I watched the new movies, and finally got to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation when it debuted.

I was a fanboy, a Trekker, an A1 geekboy known in some circles as James T Spock Superstar. I was DM-ing a Trek RPG session the night Roddenberry died. I flirted with making my firstborn’s middle name Tiberius.

And then came post Roddenberry Trek. Here now, are my reviews of all the series under the name Star Trek.

Star Trek—Where it all began, a show that revolutionized Science Fiction and TV, and how a redneck raised boy in a backward community saw his world. Racism was an everyday thing for me until I got the episode “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield.” And I don’t mean “got” as in “came into my possession, but as in “hit me in my understanding.” Arguing over skin color was stupid! Thank you Trek for helping me out with that.

I still watch and love my classic Trek. It’s an old friend whose every move I know, but I love those moves so much there’s not getting tired of it. If you can’t get over the effects or the very 60’s acting, examine the themes of these episodes. That’s what makes them great.
(Best Episode: “Where No Man Has Gone Before”)

Star Trek: The Animated Series—Hey- I dig it, and I really wish Paramount would quit screwing around and get this thing out on DVD. Sure, it was kiddie-fied, but with writers like DC Fontana, David Gerrold, Larry Niven, and even Walter Koenig- there are some jewels here. (Best Episode: “Albatross”)

Star Trek: The Next Generation—Didn’t think they could do it, but this also became a classic show, and did a fine job giving its own spin-offs. No, Jean-Luc Picard was no Jim Kirk, but he had his own verve, and it was big crowd that gathered at my house to watch “All Good Things” air. There were some bummers, but TNG is still great Trek and started a whole mess of good stuff.

Worf! Who doesn’t love Worf? He’s great, and brought his bad ass Klingon self to DS9 as well which gave a very nice feeling of continuity between the shows beyond the occasional guest appearance.
(Best Episode: “The Inner Light”)

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine—A slow first season with a lot of potential gave way to six successive season that made this the best television show ever. Ever- not just the best Trek, the best TV show ever. The cast was superb, the drama without equal, and despite claims of being a “grittier” show than its predecessors, it did what Trek does best; examine the Human Condition in the most adverse of circumstances. Yes, it showed war in the future, but it also showed human determination going against the odds to make that war end, and build a relationship with those we fought. Beyond that “The Visitor” is the most emotionally heart wrenching hour ever televised. What an incredible show.

And for the first time in SF history we were presented with a character who was a person of faith, and was not presented as ignorant or backward. Col. Kira followed the Prophets, and we got honest portrayals of how our faith can conflict with our knowledge, and how we work through that.

The cast of dozens gave a rich tapestry that one didn’t find on the other shows. Casey Biggs showed up and was initially billed as “Cardassian Bridge Officer.” Finally later he became “Damar.” He was Dukat’s right hand man. Then a drunken bureaucrat, then a traitor to Dukat, then Dukat’s puppet replacement, then a man devastated by his personal decisions, then a freedom fighter, liberator of the Cardassian people, and martyr. That’s a lot of character development for someone who wasn’t even a regular character!
(Best Episode: “The Visitor”)

Star Trek: Voyager— This is the show Trekkies like, while Trekkers look on in disdain. The less said the better, but: There are seven good episodes of Voyager, but I sometimes have a tough time remembering all of them. They emasculated the Borg, made inconsistent writing the norm, and ignored all technical continuity. They also managed to show that the some total of human evolution will not be the God-like entities other Trek showed us, but rather giant salamanders rutting in the mud. Mr. Braga, I will never forgive you for “Threshold.” Even the stars bagged on this shows writing. The producers also proved that they could improve ratings not by improving script quality, but rather by adding cheesecake. This will continue into the next show as well. Ugh, what a stinker. This is the only series I refuse to buy.

There were characters here to like- in one episode, Tuvok and Paris are teamed up and play off each other like a young Kirk and Spock- then, having struck relationship gold, the writers never put them together again. Robert Picardo was always entertaining as the Doctor. The rest of the cast just left me cold. Robert Beltrane at least admits to phoning in his performance due to lackluster scripts.

I ask this- why were so many stories resolved off screen? You have a crisis up to the last five minutes of the show, fade out, fade in, and everything’s all better. It’s funny that the best episodes were the ones that weren’t really about the crew…(Living Witness, Equinox, the one with the planet that spins really fast.)
(Best Episode: “Living Witness,” one of the seven good ones…)

Star Trek: Enterprise—I should hate this show. I should revile it as I do Voyager. It was created by Rick Berman and Brannon Braga, who just never got Trek. It had a character who was used as eye candy at every opportunity. For three years it showed a flagrant disregard for the continuity of the other shows. And yet… I loved this show. The characters were genuine and likable. The actors were fun, the effects were great, and once the fourth season put them back on the continuity track, this became really good Trek. Of course, B&B got spiteful when they realized other writers were doing what they never could (making good entertaining episodes that completely fit continuity), and whined until UPN cancelled the show, and then B&B wrote Enterprise’s last, and worst, episode. Still, this show died before its prime, and I really wish I could see this gang together again.

Jolene Blalock was obviously not chosen for her acting skills. She was obviously going to be B&B’s new Seven of Nine. She was the only Vulcan on the show who wore a catsuit, despite seeing dozens of other Vulcans. She was there to look good. Yet… the girl pulled of this character wonderfully. During the first three seasons when we saw Vulcan Battlecruisers and commando teams (despite TNG saying Vulcans hadn’t built a weapon in 2000 years) Jolene played T’Pol as the quintessential Vulcan. Even when B&B tried to screw her up with episodes like The Seventh, Jolene made me believe in T’Pol. She was funny like Spock, yet pulled off a powerful undercurrent that showed the passions that flow beneath the Vulcan exterior. The poor girl was stripped naked at every opportunity, and still managed to keep the character’s dignity.*

Maybe a TV reunion movie? Huh Paramount? Please? One that erases the last episode from continuity?
(Best Episode: The fourth season’s Vulcan Story-Arc which gave a reasonable explanation for all of B&B’s Vulcan crap)

I didn’t get into the movies here, though I really like all of them except two: Generations, and Nemesis. Each of them had plot holes I could hide the Kobayashi Maru in. I am intrigued to see what JJ Abrams Trek will be like- but I hope they keep it in line with continuity, while examining the human condition. Oh, and there better be cool Starships…



*Let me not play too coy- a nude Jolene Blalock is a joy to behold, but I firmly believe that such things could have been done in a good Trek way. As an example I point out the oft maligned decon scene from the pilot episode. There’s important dialog between two major characters going on here, yet the focus is on two hot actors rubbing massage gel on each other in soft light. The camera follows Trip's hands over T’Pol’s curves like a porn film. Yet I contend the scene could have been identical with a single camera wideshot and full lighting, showing that these are professionals in the future where we have put hang-ups like gender in military service behind us. That would have made it Trek rather than exploitation.

Relocated

Whew! Times goes fast when you're in a move, yet in other ways drags on like a non-anesthetized tooth pulling. Time in a hotel room; interminable. Time in an airport; preternaturally slow. Living in a house waiting for you furniture to arrive; see above. Oddly though, it is suddenly the end of June, and I didn't even see it coming. I and my clan are successfully moved into the GFNWSGF (Great and Free North Western States of Greatness and Freedom). Some culture shock coming from Europe. First of all, we Americans are fat. I include myself, but as I look around me I now see what Europeans see when we are over there. It's not just having weight- there's lots of reasons for that. We don't take care of ourselves. I saw overweight Germans- and they dressed in such a way as to enhance their appearance. Today I saw a woman who couldn't have been under 220 wearing a halfshirt and hiphuggers. People go out in clothes that should be reserved for lounging around the house. The Europeans don't do that. Sure they don't shower that often either, but at least they are appealing to the eye. They never appear unkempt.

I have also noticed (connected to this) that the portions served in American resturants would feed a family in Iraq for a week. Yet I pay for it so I am inclined to eat it.

And we drive really damn slow on the highways. When there are three lanes of road, 60 MPH is just silly.

But- on the other hand I can go to stores on Sunday and after 5PM. I can read the newspaper. The selection on the shelves is a delicious result of free enterprise. Things I had to special order in Germany I can now just go buy. My inner consumer is very happy.

So here I am- back in the USA. It is good to be back, but can I ask you all to run a comb through your hair before you go out? Thanks.

Returning to the Dark Knight

As anyone (if there is anyone) who reads this blog regularly knows, I am a great fan of The Bat-Man. As anyone who is a great fan of The Bat-Man knows, one of the great works in the Dark Knight’s history is Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. Now, I won’t dignify Miller’s new All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder with a mention, because, well, it sucks, but DKR was not only what revitalized Batman in the 80’s, but comics as well.

If you aren’t familiar with this work, it’s about a 55 year old Bruce Wayne, ten-years retired in a world that has outlawed superheroes and gone to pot. Only Superman still operates, but that is in exchange for having sold out and become and agent of the US Government. Written in the 80’s, the story takes place in front of a backdrop of a growing threat of nuclear exchange between the US and USSR, and features street gangs in Gotham that would make Alex and his Droogs at the Korova Milkbar cringe. Able to take no more, Wayne again assumes the mantle of the Dark Knight starting a social and political maelstrom that culminates in a fight to the death between Batman and Superman.

Recently, the director Robert Rodriguez made a picture perfect adaptation of Miller’s other great work Sin City. Fan boys have been spreading their fan boy fantasies around about the idea of these two getting together to do DKR- let’s face it; Hollywood and Warner Brothers will never be cool enough to let that happen, there’s a really good Batman franchise running right now, and if Hollywood and Warner Brothers did let it happen, they would stick fingers in the pie and screw it all up. BUT… if they did let it happen, here’s who I would see in my dream project, and this is of course considered with no accounting for budget, schedule, or reality (which I typically try to keep from plaguing me anyway.

Commissioner James Gordon-
The seventy year old Gordon is a man of principle, but still representative of a moral age long past. He is grizzled, yet fair, and offers advice about Batman to the incoming commissioner. I would give this role to the man many would pick to be Batman himself, Clint Eastwood- a hero from days past being put out to pasture.

Harvey Dent-
Formerly Two-Face, this ex district attorney is released from Arkham Asylum his face repaired. But which of his two personalities was excised? Let’s stick Mickey Rourke, who already has experience as a psycho in Rodriguez films, in this role of a man faking his repentance.

Commissioner Ellen Yindel-
Progressive, tough, and completely intolerant of masked vigilantes, she cannot understand how a man she has admired, Jim Gordon, could allow this criminal to operate. She’ll learn. A big gun and glasses on Ellen Barkin would cover this role nicely.

Dr. Bartholomew Wolper-
The doctor who declares both Two-Face and the Joker cured, and then blames Batman for the existence of crime in Gotham, he represents everything wrong with a blameless society. I’d like to say Vincent Schiavelli here, bt he passed on in December, so perhaps Donald Sutherland?

The Joker-
A mass murderer with more than 600 to his credit, the Joker went into a coma when Batman retired, and mutters not a word until the Dark Knight appears on the nightly news. His response? “B-b-b-Batman. Darling…” Call me crazy, but as an older Joker here I want to see David Bowie match his age with some Man Who Fell to Earth/Ziggy Stardust/Goblin King from Labyrinth nuttiness. Alternatively- give me Mark Hamill, who has voiced the Joker to perfection since the debut of Batman: The Animated Series in 1992.

Oliver Queen-
Always the bleeding heart of the Justice League, the Green Arrow has lost his arm to a fight with Superman, but returns for a small but crucial role in the battle between Batman and Superman. He’s an old bald hippy with a mean sense of humor and a radical’s ethic. Ed Harris, start your goatee now.

Robin-
13 year old Carrie Kelly is living in the hell her apathetic parents’ generation have allowed to exist. When she hears of the Batman returning, she literally buys a Robin costume from a rental agency, saves the Dark Knight’s life, and becomes the Girl Wonder. I really want to see this role cast age appropriate, so I won’t put a name here, since by the time scripting and preproduction is done, you’ll have to cast an eleven year old now, or find a very young looking teen girl. She should be solid, smart, but not too pretty. She’s a crimefighter, not a supermodel.

Superman-
He has compromised everything he ever stood for so he could continue in some small way to fight his never ending battle. He tries to talk Bruce down, but when Batman becomes too much a of a political liability (Batman keeps order in Gotham City in the wake of a Soviet Electro-Magnetic Pulse while the rest of the country falls into chaos) it comes down to the Dark Knight versus the Last Son of Krypton. Good luck, Supes- you’re gonna need it. There’s two ways you can go here. In the comic, Kent looks mature, but not older like the rest of them- perhaps the new Superman, Brandon Routh, should just continue this role along (or do we give Tom Welling his chance to don tights here?). Or, if we do want to mature the Man of Steel, give Kurt Russel a haircut and a cape.

And finally…
The Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader, the Batman-
He thought he was done- nothing left to fight with, but the world needs a Batman, and he must cast aside the life of the playboy (no longer just a façade) and retake the mantle of the Bat. Tell me how cool it would be to see the now older, wiser, and still well cast Michael Keaton step back into the role. I mean no disrespect to Christian Bale, and I always had problems with Tim Burton’s Batman films, but Keaton was dead on as Bruce Wayne, and based a lot of his performance on the DKR comic anyway. His only challenge will be pulling off Batman without the benefit of a big rubber suit. While Ed Harris grows his goatee, Mike, start working out.

For what it’s worth- those are my picks. Now, Warners- will it kill you to let it happen right? Don’t touch a thing, let Miller and Rodriguez handle it, and just collect the residuals. Please?? Pretty please???

The Death Penalty

Sowing what you reap. Seems like a simple concept, doesn’t it? You kill someone, you get killed. One of the fundamentals of our society; the eye for an eye concept. I was behind it for a long time. The equation seems clear, you break the social contract and present a threat to that society, we no longer have the obligation to care for you, so you must be removed.

Then, one of the rottenest sons of bitches in American history, a fine example of why we have the death penalty in the first place, didn’t get a fair trial. That bastard Timothy McVeigh was sitting on death row and the Federal Court that tried him admitted that they withheld evidence about a possible second bomber (John Doe Number 2) from McVeigh’s defense. Look, no one thinks any of that would exonerate this monster, but in the interest of fairness, let us delay that execution until the defense team can analyze these 3000 withheld pages, and then we’ll burn him at the stake. We’ll do this because we are interested in making up for our mistakes- we are not the oppressive government people like McVeigh claim.

Only we didn’t. We went ahead and executed Timothy McVeigh, delaying not an hour, despite the fact we the State were wrong. We did not allow a fair assessment of the evidence under our own laws.

That steps out of the range of execution, and becomes murder. Worse yet, it help validate people like McVeigh who claim our government is out of control. The Bastard didn’t argue, because he knew this would make him a martyr to his like minded ilk. It sickens me that we gave him such ammunition, we gave him validation, and I can only hope we didn’t create a dozen more such monsters. It would seem, the Federal Government has lost its moral superiority, and therefore is not longer justified in issuing the death penalty.

Furthermore, let’s take a look at the quality of juries these days. Our same responsibility-shirking citizenry sleeps in the juror box, and falls to the same legal chicanery one sees on television. Look at your neighbors- how many of them are you willing to trust with your life?

As forensic science progresses, we find more and more people on death row (or already off death row if you know what I mean) who are proven innocent after years of imprisonment. I find myself coming to a certain conclusion. The system is no longer competent enough to wield the power of life and death.

At the very least, it is incumbent upon us as the citizenry and the Government to place the highest standards of evidence upon cases that may result in the death penalty, perhaps reserving this punishment only for those cases where there is confession. There must also be a strict adherence to whatever rules we decide to apply here- we cannot be arbitrary with life. The system must work, or when it does not, those who are responsible for the failure must be held accountable. There will never be a perfect system, but this can only be ameliorated by taking responsibility when mistakes are made and working as a body to set the consequences in balance.

If we can claim we are responsible enough to kill as a State, then we must wield that power with the utmost caution; remember, the same Bible that we like to quote Eye for and Eye from also states that any court that sentences more than one man in 7 years to death is bloodthirsty.

And I really don’t want us to validate the monsters.

Why I think all Americans should have firearms, and why I think no one should.

It’s kind of funny that this debate seems to have cooled down over the last few years following the beginning of what is popularly known as the War on Terror. Certain firearms bans are part of the Patriot Act, and no one wants to talk bad about that by golly, but on the other hand, when hordes of Islamic warriors came tearing out of the sky, who doesn’t want an old faithful shotgun at their side to introduce some of those fanatics to Allah?

My argument however has nothing to do with the chosen enemy of the decade—instead I wish to discuss the right to bear arms in general, in the context of the American Republic; the intent of the Constitutional writers (in my opinion), why they are right, and why they are wrong. Please keep in mind that I am writing this while my current firm has me out in what we call “The Field.” This involves a certain degree of isolation (though luckily electricity and my laptop have followed me here). This isolation equates to me having virtually no access to fact checking mediums, aside from a copy of the Bill of Rights and Constitution I keep on my computer along with some copies of the Federalist Papers. My statistics are quoted to the best of my memory from previous reading, and this makes me officially “Full of Shit.”

Our beloved Bill of Rights, written by visionary men more than two centuries ago, states:

“A well−regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”


The argument here usually falls in the area of “well-regulated militia.” Is this an armed populace, or is it a State run organization like the National Guard? There are two reasons this does not equate to the National Guard to me. First, the National Guard did not exist when the Bill of Rights was written. At that time, the militia was the Minutemen who were normal farmers and the like who heard people like Paul Revere screaming like bloody murder about Redcoats, went to their closets and pulled out their hunting rifles. These men later made up the Continental Army, but most of them just went home and put their rifles back in the closet. Later, individual states began to organize the National Guard.

The second reason? You may have noticed in recent years, the National Guard has been federalized. Often, the NG has been looked upon as a second Reserve force, and deployed to War for the United States. In the War on Terror, the National Guard has been called in to defend airports, sea ports, and borders. If the Federal government can call on the National Guard for federal purposes, it is no longer just a well-regulated Militia; it then becomes a Federal Force.

And that is the problem- the Bill of Rights does not guarantee the right to bear arms for hunting. The Bill of Rights does not guarantee the right to bear arms for home defense from criminals. The Bill of Rights guarantees the right because it is necessary to “the security of a free state.” In other words, the people have guns to keep the Federal government in check, to secure the concept of a free state. Remember kids, this was written in the late 18th century. The idea of an imposed monarchy was common, and the idea of a government by the people, of the people, for the people was in its infancy. No one knew how this whole Republic thing would really work, and a lot of the Anti-Federalists were afraid that the President would seize control on the near future (indeed there is evidence that many of the Federalists thought that was a good idea). Allowing the Federal Government to take control over the agency that is supposed to keep them honest defies the intent of the Constitution.

The next logical step here, is that the people’s right to bear arms in defense of a free state means that the people must have the firepower to stop the government if it goes bad. Surely, no Constitutional author foresaw the F-117 and the MOAB, but conceptually speaking the people should be able to handle something like that.

Sure, that sounds ridiculous; I don’t think my neighbor needs an MX missile in his garage, but if we begin to chip away at the concept, it leaves the rest of the Bill of Rights open to interpretation. The founders didn’t foresee Gangsta Rap or Hate Speech either, so let’s tweak the First Amendment. The founders never conceived as insidious an enemy as Al-Qaeda, so let’s change that silly fourth amendment about probable cause searches (oh wait- we’ve done that).

Honest citizens with guns are not a problem. They aren’t committing crimes or terror acts. Indeed, some FBI crime studies show that a gun is used illegally in the US every three minutes- and one is used to halt a crime by a responsible citizen every 15 seconds. In a responsible republic with a mature citizenry, there should be no restriction on what they are allowed to own.

And therein is the rub. Are we a responsible republic with a mature citizenry? The answer may be no. In fact, it would seem that we are doing everything we can to avoid responsibility, and begging our government to take care of us. We are scared enough to ask them to wiretap “the right people” and ignore the Bill of Rights to search the homes of “the right people.” We learned nothing apparently from WWII and our treatment of Japanese Americans. In short we (and I am including myself as an American citizen) are dumb, irresponsible, and need to be told what to do. We are incapable of defending ourselves against criminals, against terrorists, against our own foibles. When we own guns, we don’t pay enough attention to our kids to notice them taking them to school. We don’t make sure our kids learn and take responsibility to solve issues without resorting to deadly force. We are no longer competent as a people to be allowed firearms, anymore than a toddler should be allowed matches, despite the good they can do.

So the choice is ours America- we can give up our guns, let the Government tell us how frightened to be each day, and blame things like video games, movies, and the terrorists for our problems. Or, we can retake responsibility for our actions, spank our kids when they do wrong, and punish the guilty rather than oppressing the innocent, and step back up to our half of the social contract.

Please, take responsibility for yourself, your family, your community, before we have to beg Big Brother to do it for us. Or don’t- that is still one of our freedoms; the freedom to be allowed to choose oppression.

The Good Old Days

Remember when we had a grievous attack on American Soil and the president said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Can you imagine FDR putting together a color coded system to tell us how scared we should be of the Axis?

The Earth-Pig Born

As any visitor to this too-seldom updated site can tell you, I am a huge comic book fan. Sure, my focus is superheroes, but the medium supports a lot more than just capes and costumes. A few years ago, my friendly neighborhood comic retailer gave me a money back guarantee on the purchase of a collection of 25 issues of the comic Cerebus.

If you haven't heard of it, it will be hard to describe. A Canadian gentleman named Dave Sim started self publishing a Conan parody in about 1977 starring a warrior Aardvark. Yes, Aardvark. Again, Cerebus began as a parody, but as most of our self started projects do, it took on a life of its own, and Sim promised he would do 300 issues. You may say that's a lot of Conan-parody.

Well you're right- Early on Sim shifts the book to become an examination of electoral process in a 25 issue story arc that chronicles Cerebus the Aardvark's rise to political power in the fantasy city-state of Iest. Then, Sim takes the next 50 issues or so to examine Cerebus' reign as... Pope.

Unlike my self starter projects that have a tendency to die out after taking on a life of their own (serves them right for leaving), Cerebus made it to issue 300; 6000 pages and the longest continuing narrative in literary history.

Make no mistake- this is literature. Any graphically presented storyline with guest characters like Oscar Wilde and F. Scott Fitzgerald (cunningly disguised as "F-Stop Kennedy) has an edge toward the literary anyway. Sim however, outside of redefining usage of graphic and panels to tell his comic story, often abandons the pictures altogether and just starts writing.

The views Sim presents get pretty controversial later in the series (keep in mind, the series is collected into 16 "phone book" sized volumes- I had the first five until this last Christmas when the darling Jennifer slipped 6-16 under the tree). Sim and Cerebus are unabashed in their beliefs and will challenge your ideas on Feminism, Religion, Drinking, and Libertarianism. At one point Sim goes for about 100 pages into Cerebus giving his commentary on the Torah to Woody Allen (trust me- makes sense in context).

I don't agree with him 100%, but even so this is a brilliant work that has had an effect on comics forever, and deserves to be considered in the annuls of Western Literature. I would actually recommend starting as I did with volume 2, "High Society," and then going back to read the first volume second. I know it sounds backward, but volume two gives the true taste of the series, and it won't hurt to get some of the characters'' origins in the simpler stories afterward.

I raise a glass of Apricot Brandy to Dave Sim for taking 27 years to publish this brilliant work, and for choosing an oft overlooked medium for that work. I do hope that if you were to write page 6001, Cerebus looks into the Light and sees it is good. I'll miss the spiteful little grey bastard.

I am.

And I will be back. Look for me soon.

Oh yeah, that guy...

Holy guacamole, where have I been? Well, frankly right this minute I am in one of the six most beautiful places in the world, Garmisch, Germany. Being here in paradise for a month or so you can certainly understand how I could blow off my blogging duties and instead stroll along the Bavarian Alps and drink coffee in a sidewalk cafe with the rest of the Eurotrash. Alas, I must soon return home, but I have the advantage of the beloved Jennifer, and the Dan-spawn to entertain and keep me there, and that is the number one paradise for me anyway (it's also where my guitars and GI Joes are).

I'm finding some peace again, having lost much more than I thought during my time in Babylon. Of course the first step is admitting you have a problem, and the second is finding out how to express it (other than moping and anger). Much better now, though no happier with the crapstorm we are leaving in our wake there.

Speaking of storms, my thoughts and prayers go to those in New Orleans. May we all learn humility from the fact that the old aphorism that civilized society collapses after three days without a proper meal is actually a bit optimistic. Among people just trying to survive in a situation exacerbated by bureaucratic masturbation, some decided to revert lower than savage and do things like shoot at rescue workers and helicopters, and mutilate corpses in relief points. I am waiting for the stories of heroism- I know they are there. We are an amazing species to be so capable of full spectrum reactions to catastrophe. Everything from subhuman tribalism to selfless life-risking; what a race we human are.

Still grieving my Dad of course, but not fixating. I miss him, mostly when I want to tell him what movie I saw or what book I just read. He passed before he got to see a good Batman movie- may the angels and ministers of grace buy him a balcony ticket.

I was using the bathroom the other day when a woman walked in thinking that I was in the wrong room- I was in fact correct, but was struck by the fact that it was really a trivial matter, and started thinking about the male/female segregation we practice as Americans- there's no way around it, it's segregation based on old fashioned social mores passed to us by our puritanical ancestors. I wonder if there will ever be true gender equality in America so long as we don't share bathrooms?

I will do my best to get here more often, I beg forgiveness- meanwhile, give some cash to the Red Cross and groups like Doctors Without Borders. They're good folk.


ps- sorry to have turned on word verification for comments; please forgive me the extra step, but someone spammed me. Don't I see enough commercials without them coming to my blog? Aren't I the one doing the advertising here?

There’s a war on…

I’m really trying to stay away from frivolous blogs these days, but I just saw a movie that blew me away; the new Steven Spielberg “War of the Worlds.” The movie is something of an amalgamation (There- I said it again) of Spielberg’s films. This is ET meets Schindler’s List. The smart little girl from Jurassic Park is in the car with Dennis Weaver from Duel. And they are all definitely going to need a bigger boat.

Tom Cruise, personal life notwithstanding, is fantastic as the father who doesn’t really care- the jerk jock in high school who has gotten the crappy life his karma dictated when he refused to see the world as something more. He’s no action hero, and in the course of the film is driven to do the unspeakable to survive- and that is all, survive.

This film would not work so well five years ago. This is the fourth major incarnation of War of the Worlds. The first, the original novel, was written by H.G. Wells as metaphor for the destruction of the Great War. Orson Welles brought a panic to the Northeast with his radio play version. It fed on the audiences fears if the growing fascist juggernaut in Europe- remember, Orson gave us his version in Halloween of 1938. The invasion of Poland was a year away. In 1953, George Pal gave us a movie version that holds up surprisingly well today. Gene Barry starred in a film that came at the end of Korea with the red threat hanging over the ocean, “duck and cover” being drilled in schools, and McCarthy just getting warmed up.

Now, Spielberg taps directly into angst from the War on Terror. Some few spoilers here, so be careful. The emergence of the first tripod is filmed in such away as to recall the shaky footage we saw filmed at the scene of the World Trade Center destruction. The character of Rachel even states this for us to a degree. As Cruise and his kids are fleeing the mounting destruction, she’s asking “is it the terrorists?”

The movie is pure tension from that moment on. Never has a film kept me more involved in the plight of its characters, or had me feeling their fear more. I squirmed with them, I was as revolted as they when Cruise comes home covered in dust which a few moments before was living breathing humans. And the red vines…? Whoa. It makes me wonder how much of my involvement with this film is a result of my recent trip to Babylon.

There is a shiny happy moment at the end that I don’t think works in the context of the rest of the film, but it was not enough for me to spoil the prior tow hours.

So I applaud Spielberg as a movie maker for this piece, and his keen eye in putting the classic tale in a context that would give his audience the most commiseration. That’s a movie maker’s job, to prey on the viewer’s emotions and make them think about why they feel that way.

Now my question is why my government feels they have to? Why do I have to be yellow scared or orange scared? Hey George- leave the theatrics to Spielberg and actually run the country, OK? Thanks.

One more observation I want to make about this film. If you are familiar with the previous versions, you know how this one ends. If not, don’t read my next paragraph until you’ve seen the film.

Though this movie uses the same method to end the invasion that the other versions do, this is the first time it struck me with what Wells was trying to say with his micro biotic heroes. The renowned futurist seems to be saying the world around us is interconnected. Earth is a web of life. The organism is attacked by an outsider- the human scale antibodies don’t work, so the Earth uses another line of defense. Maybe I’m over-reading it, but I see this message- the connectivity of our homeworld. Damn, if we and the germs are pulling together, maybe we the people should too…

Oh wait, there I am...

Yes, true believers, I have been away from my blogging duties, and for this I can only apologize. Been in quite the funk lately in regard to the news about Babylon, and the current Powers That Be response to these issues. The simple fact is we screwed up, mishandled it from day one, and now there is a civil war. You know, when one of the powers says "the insurgency will last a decade" and another says "the insurgency is on its knees" ALL IN THE SAME WEEK, there is an obvious lack of coordination at work.

But, I'm trying not to let them get me down (after all, they haven't told me to go back...yet) and focus on some lighter things. I have finished the first four scripts to a comic book that I hope to get published- fun stuff. Also very pleased with Batman Begins; now if they can get Superman that correct it'll be fanboy heaven.

Thinking of going to see Italy soon, drink some wine, get some sun. Lovely country that. Polite even as they pickpocket you (but that's reserved for the big cities).

Looking at a possible political position in the future, or at least a job around political people. Could yours truly possibly be a voice of reason in the Casa Blanca? Time will tell...

Movies A la Dan!!!!

Well, I have been remiss in spreading my propaganda, haven’t I? It seems I did this more in Babylon than I do now in Germania- of course, in Babylon less people who deserved my attention were clamoring for my attention.

So rather than go off on another absinthe inspired tirade, I am going to keep this one short and simple. The five best and five worst films of all time as chosen by…

Well, me. No real criteria here but my own personal likes and dislikes. So here we go:

The Five Greatest Films Ever Filmed-

5- The Empire Strikes Back: Everything an action adventure movie should be, and introduces us to the best bad guy theme music ever. This is Lucas writing at his strongest, and having sense enough to let someone else direct. Golden Moment: “No Luke, I am your father!”

4- The Blues Brothers: a perfect mix of music, comedy, religion, and surrealism makes for Belushi and Aykroyd’s best movie, and a damn near perfect film. Golden Moment: “The BAND!”

3- Blade Runner: Stunning visuals that stand up to this very day in an SF film noir classic made 40 years after any other film noir movie. The excellent Ridley Scott creates a world both familiar and futuristic. Personally, I prefer his darker not so happy ending to the theatrical version, but I kinda miss Harrison Ford’s droning narration. Golden Moment: Rutger Hauer lets go of the dove.

2- The Usual Suspects: Wow, it’s the movie that gets better every time you see it because it shows you all the clues to the trick (which I refuse to spoil here) ending are right in front of you. Golden Moment: “That’s when he showed these men of will what will really was…”

1- Fight Club: It’s gross, socially irredeemable, and is the most subversive argument for nuclear families ever made. A great adaptation of the book that puts a movie ending on that wouldn’t work in a book and abandons the book ending that wouldn’t work in a movie. Golden Moment: “In Judeo-Christian society our image of God is based on our Fathers. What if you don't have one? We are a generation of men raised by women…”


And now, lets see how bad they can get:

5- Blade: Awful performances, confused villains, and a complete rejection of 500 years of vampire lore make this just an awful film. It made me angry that I wasted my time to watch it. In fact, all of these five did that in increasing degrees the further we get down the list. Crappiest Moment: Deacon Frost wants to kill every human on earth; what are you going to eat, dumb ass?

4- Hollow Man: There’s not a single likeable character in this to commiserate with- I don’t care what happens to the bad guy, the good guys, or the people in the middle. The director’s love for senseless shock scenes and the sudden bestowal of super strength on the villain about ¾ of the way through earn this special mention. Crappiest Moment: Having just left the villain for dead in the hallway, the heroes run by. His body is gone, AND NO ONE NOTICES!

3- Terminator 3: I love it when someone writes a sequel to a movie they didn’t understand. T2 was all about the fact that Judgment Day was not destined, and we can make our own destinies. Not now, now it’s going to happen regardless and our heroes just postponed it long enough to piss me off. Crappiest Moment: Sara Conner was so confident in her natural born leader son at the end of T2 that she filled her grave with weapons for him to use when he is proven wrong. No wonder Linda Hamilton wouldn’t come back- but why, Arnie? WHY!!??

2- Alien Resurrection: I loved the first three (yes even Alien 3, I dug it) and I love Joss Whedon, but what the director did to his really interesting script is unforgivable. The movie bounces between slasher movie and schlock horror, never being enough of either to be worth the effort. A total waste of a decent idea. Crappiest Moment: In the throes of having a chestburster, well rip through his chest, a character exacts revenge on another character by running across the room and holding his victim’s head in front of his sternum. What?

And the worst film ever made:

1- Batman and Robin: Arnold strikes again in a film that took everything that was wrong with the barely passable Batman Forever and focuses on those parts. A complete failure from the very beginning it has entire sections of dialog replicated from the third film, and takes The Batman’s most brilliant and formidable foe, Bane, and turns him into a monosyllabic bit player. Crappiest Moment: Everything between the opening credits and the end credits. If I have to pick one though it has to be the Bat Credit Card. Adam West wouldn’t put up with that crap…


Well, nothing Earth shattering, but it’s what’s on my mind. Or at least what’s left of my mind (insert maniacal laughter here…).

Civilization and stuff...

Well. Been forever since I got on here, eh? Well, I am surviving, if still occasionally dealing with both Post Traumatic symptoms and the death of my Dad. They say you have good days and bad, and mine are now mostly good, so I can’t complain too much. Distance has not changed my feelings on the misadventure that is Babylon, but as much as I tried to affect the situation there, I would imagine there is even less I can do here.

So, in lighter news, I just made my first visit to Paris. All I can say is wow. The city is beautiful in ways no other place in the world is. Saw all the important things, but most interesting was actually two hours outside of Paris in Rheims. There I saw the Cathedral and the tomb of Joan of Arc.

Let me let you in on a little secret; since I was a little boy and first heard the story, I have been madly in love with Jeanne D’Arc. I suppose I can dismiss hormones, as there are no photographs, and let’s face facts—she must have been a dirty medieval French girl with horrid teeth and hygiene (though, looking like Leelee Sobieski would not be bad). Also, since this particular obsession has lasted decades, I have to assume it is the real thing. First, like me she hears the Divine (though, her voices were obviously much clearer than the Holy Charades I have to play with the Almighty). Then, she was a soldier, so we share a professional interest. Thirdly, she was basically sticking it to the man. As a 16 year old girl she maneuvered herself into being a Kingmaker, runs mental and spiritual circles around the Inquisitors at her trial, and sponsors enough adoration that the Church not only recants the heresy charges (which does little to recant the flames mind you), but make her a Saint. Then of course there’s all the mystical possibilities; the Maid of Larraine legend was not a Christian prophecy, but one of the older religions.

Now, as much as I hated the book The DaVinci Code (crappy mystery), the information is interesting. Nothing I hadn’t read elsewhere in a better-presented form. But, if Rabbi Jesus’ progeny settled in France as the Merovingian Kings… hmm, is it possibly that Clovis or another of those early freaky French diddled with someone who would later be the great great grand mother of dear Joan? Jeanne D’Arc, granddaughter of Christ? The possibilities are endless if you consider the spiritual side of things, and if you don’t, that had to be a hell of a woman to get on a horse in front of an Army in the 1400s.

Is it possible she was just a figurehead used to rally the rabble around the legend of the Maid? Sure. Is it possible she was just schizophrenic rather than Divinely touched? Yeah. Is it possible she was just a scared crazy little girl used by power hungry and ruthless men? Very. But I dare you to read the trial transcripts and go see her in Rheims. I think she’ll change your mind.

Just remember though—I saw her first, and I’m taking her to the dance.

Eulogy, delivered for my Dad...

As many of you are already aware, I have spent a great deal of my life looking at God. Be it from a foxhole or a classroom, the simple fact is I see Him. In my head is the image of God, as plain as any photograph, and I would like to take a few moments to describe how I see Him.

First of all, God is strong. God has a strength that permeates all of creation. It is God's strength that carries the Hebrews through their bondage in Egypt and Babylon. It is God's strength that allows a small population of people to remain a recognizable separate culture that is basically responsible for writing down the rules that became Western Civilization. It is God’s strength that enabled a first century carpenter to walk up a hill outside Jerusalem bearing all of our mistakes. God is strong.

Sometimes, God is angry. God releases His anger on the Israelites at the foot of Mount Sinai, and again and again we see that divine anger swell like the raging sea. If you look closely at these instances however, that anger comes not as a result of vengeance or spite, but rather as a result of sadness; that we as His children were capable of so much more, but chose to lie rather than take responsibility. Chose the easy way out instead of doing what was morally correct. God's anger is the result of us not living up to our potential, when all God really seeks is the opportunity to be proud of us.

And God, as much as certain groups organized in His name would like to deny, has an enormous sense of humor. I'd like to point out the instance in Mark chapter 7 where Jesus says that it is not what goes into a man's body that makes him unclean, but rather what comes out. Sure, there is a deep theological meaning there, but to the audience in those days the surface phrase is simply a potty joke. Again and again Jesus uses plays on words and jokes to illustrate His message, and some of them by the standards of the day are simply raunchy and scandalous. God is funny.

Why? Because God is love. Behind every inscrutable situation in the Bible or history, behind every commandment that we don't quite understand, behind all of it is the love of a Father for His children. He shares His strength with us because He loves us. He is angry with us because He loves us. He jokes with us because he loves us. That is how I see God.

The author Chuck Palahniuk says in one of his books that in our modern culture and society, we as men base our image of God on our fathers.

He is absolutely right. My Dad was strong, my Dad could be angry, my Dad was funny, and my Dad loves me as much as I love him. I thank God for my Dad, and I will miss him terribly.

Well Damn...

Hello ladies and gentlemen...

The good news is I have left Babylon behind me, and I can now hope the Lord of All will be kind and keep me from ever having to go back to that hellhole. My nation and Firm have done many questionable things there, and I am tired of being complicit in those things.

However, the reason I have evacuated early is that my Dad has died. I miss him terribly already. I am sad, angered, relieved, and just wish I could talk to him one more time.

I have a lot more to say to him, but nothing more to really say here.