Dan's Justice League

So, with Man of Steel on the way, the implication from Warner Brothers is that it will set the stage for a DC shared movie universe.  I have to admit, as much as I am anticipating what I have seen of this film, I don't see WB's movie department really being able to build in that way, particularly with they, their TV associates, and right now in my mind their comics, completely unable to come up with a Wonder Woman that works.  It did get me thinking though, who I would WANT to see in a JL project, and I realized, there really hasn't been a project in a while that really captured me outside of the animated shows I have seen on TV, all of which are being cancelled apparently.  So there's that.

So for no other reason than my wish list, here is what I would want to see in any JL project, by bringing together these particular versions of these characters.  One is going to stand out like a sore thumb, but think about it a bit before you declare it "outrageous" (that's a clue).

Superman:

I have not seen MoS obviously, but for my money, if I need a modern version of Superman I am going to draw from Mark Waid's "Birthright."  To me, it is the definitive origin of Superman from a decade that rewrote the story about five times.  Indeed, it stands out to me as the best telling of it in the character's long history.  I do want to give honorable mention to Grant Morrison's "All-Star Superman" which I love a bit more as a story, but Waid does a better job of giving Superman the god-like abilities, while keeping him human.  Morrison's Superman in All-Star is simply a god.

Batman:

Nothing against the actor, but after the huge misstep that was The Dark Knight Rises, Christian Bale doesn't make even the short list.  There's a lot of takes on Batman out there, and many I love, but if I can have just one it has to be the version Bruce Timm gives us in Batman: The Animated Series.  Full credit of course to Kevin Conroy who will forever be the voice I hear in my head when reading any Batman comic.  That guy, he IS The Batman.


Wonder Woman:

I saw the 2011 pilot for a proposed Wonder Woman tv series, and I think Adrianne Palicki was a great choice for the sheer physicality of Wonder Woman.  The writing however completely missed the heart. I have nothing but fondness for my delightfully...stimulating childhood memories of Lynda Carter.  If I have to choose a Wonder Woman though, I am going to include the goddess/diplomat/warrior from Greg Rucka's two years on the title.  In a four color land of over-sexual bosomy fantasy archetypes, Rucka's Wonder Woman was a wondrous woman, and definitive in my mind as the hero.  It isn't pants that Wonder Woman needs to be taken seriously; it's heart.


Aquaman:

Every few years, someone comes along and says, "but I am going to do Aquaman right."  The result usually entails more brooding, perhaps a hook, and bouncing between more or less hair on either head or face.  Then, a couple years ago, someone really did breathe new life into "the guy who talks to fish."  I give full credit to Batman: The Brave and the Bold.  Many people discounted this throwback series as too kiddy or goofy, but really it was a fine representation of those pre-Silver Age tales that set the stage for all the classics that helped define those characters for us today.  In Aquaman we find someone who is confident, a little arrogant, and absolutely loves the fact he gets to be a superhero.  That really resonates with me as he is the guy responsible for 5/6 of the Earth.   Is it so bad that some of these heroes might actually enjoy what they do, and what a great role in the league for Aquaman to take.  We'll save the brooding for Batman.

The Flash:

Yeah, I know Barry's back.  Hurray Silver Age and all that.  For me though, I am calling on the 90s, and Mark Waid once more along with William Messner-Loebs and Mike Baron, and bringing Wally West to the table as The Flash.  He had a legacy to deal with, his own fears to calm, and a rogue's gallery in the waiting.  Yet, he could crack a joke with the best of them and was truly a hero.  Perhaps I am jaded as I really found The Flash post crisis, and though watching that old TV show, those comics really brought the character home for me.  And, I miss the Kilg%re.



Green Lantern:

GL used to be one of my very favorites.  After the last couple years of rainbows, a movie so bad it made me like the comics less, and the impact of the New 52 being lessened by keeping the GL continuity though it MAKES NO SENSE WITH THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE (see Batman for this problem too), I almost left him off.  Alas, though, Hal Jordan was at the top of my must buy list for a long time, and I do love the hard sci fi elements of the character and the supporting cast.  So, I must harken back to who made me love the character in the first place, and that was Dennis O'Neil.  Hal was a hero who asked questions, and had Green Arrow along like a bearded Jiminy Cricket to point out things Hal wouldn't always want to see.  Added bonus to picking this Hal: we get Ollie as a freebie.


Martian Manhunter:

Yes, I insist on J'onn J'onzz as being on the League.  He links our heroes mentally, and provides nearly as much power as Superman in a fight.  Oh, and he's the last of his race, blasted from another planet alien who doesn't look like he grew up in Kansas.  Sure, many verisons give us a J'onn who can take purely human form, but I prefer the Justice League Unlimited Manhunter who uses his shapeshifting as a weapon while maintaining a distance from humanity.  He's a great foil for Superman reminding him how different people can be, and I want him sitting in the Watchtower.  I dip from the Bruce Timm well again for this one.


So, there's my dream line-up.  Of course I could go on: the "JSA/Kobra: Engines of Destruction" Power Girl.  The Young Justice cartoon Black Canary.  The Jaimie Reyes Blue Beetle post "One Year Later."  As a villains, the Smallville Lex Luthor  and definitely, DEFINITELY Mark Hamill's Joker from B:TAS.  Commence your arguments... NOW!


Oh.  And a pic of Adrianne Palicki as Wonder Woman, just because.  Somebody get this lady a writer!

Look Up

I don’t think it’s a big secret that tastes change with age.  Experience tempers us into a different person given enough time; sure, the basics stay the same, but the details will shift and shape according to the things that have come along to stunt or enhance us. 

There was a time I was very much a “strike back” kind of guy.  If someone did wrong, they needed justice, they needed revenge visited upon them; they needed to pay for what they had done.  Then I spent some time seeing the results of that first hand with My Firm and I realized that cycle was pretty useless.  All it did was self-perpetuate and solve pretty much nothing.

As I’ve gotten older, I have come to appreciate an older point of view and the idea that people can be better.  The people can do the right thing when properly inspired.  At times, I do have moments of nihilistic pessimism, but I know what we are capable of when we look up instead of crawling through the shadows. 

I read a lot of comic books, and often my tastes are driven by what’s going on around me.  Something I will tell you though, as much as I do enjoy characters like Spider-man and Hulk, I’m a DC guy.  I’ve written elsewhere about why I prefer one to the other, and how I think DC characters are fictions to whom people could aspire rather than commiserate with.  For years, my go to for comics has been The Batman.  As a child it was likely Adam West that drug me that way, as he showed up re-run on Arizona TV the most.  Then, as happened to any geeky adolescent in the 80s, my perceptions of Batman and comics in general were forever changed.  DC published and collected Frank Miller’s “The Dark Knight Returns,” and “Batman: Year One.”  I won’t get into Miller’s later Batman work and how it should or could be interpreted, but DKR and YO had a profound effect on comics and geeks, and that’s been discussed at length elsewhere, so I won’t rehash that either.  Suffice it to say, Batman has been my favorite superhero for a long time. 

The internet has done something interesting though.  In the form of newsgroups, or email lists, or later blogs, or tweets, or Facebook posts, my thoughts and ramblings are recorded for all time. (So much for running for public office.)  Going back over my writings and musings, I started noticing something.  I’ve been talking about someone else a bit more.

Since 2008, my blog entries on this very site have run neck and neck regarding Batman, and DC’s—and the world’s—first superhero, the aptly named Superman.  Some of those posts cross-over; but, from a defense of “Superman Returns,” to some worship of“All-Star Superman” to the fact I was unable to bring myself to drink beer whilewearing a Superman costume in a bar—IN A BAR—I find myself seeking out old silver age Superman stories, and watching the cartoons repeatedly.  And I realized, I was commiserating more with Superman than I was with Batman.

I mean, it’s not like I didn’t always like Superman.  I saw both Christopher Reeve films in the theater.  I had (have) the Mego figure.  Whenever I do something particularly… less than safe… with my Firm, I wear a Superman T-shirt under my gear.  When I fly, I wear Superman underwear.   One time, about 18 or so years ago, Jen and I stopped on the side of I-10 to help two old ladies and a couple of kids fix a flat.  We had parked a ways up and I left Jen in the car, and ran back to see what the problem was.  When I got there a state trooper was pulling over and was going to help.  Just as I was about to run back to my car to leave, the little girl in the back of the car asked where I came from.  Now, again, 18 years ago, so a lot more hair and a lot less gut was wearing a certain emblem, and I couldn’t resist saying, “I’m Superman,” before running off to disappear into the night.  I just kind of realized recently I was reading more about the Man of Steel, and less about The Dark Knight. 

Speaking of my Firm, I spent the last three years teaching my students the difference between our Nation’s abilities and the abilities of our sneakier enemies by explaining how Batman would beat Superman in a fight.  Sure, Batman distinguishes himself by not being a killer, but in the end he’s a scared little boy lashing out.  His anger drives him, but it’s sad because what would that brilliant mind be if it were working for the betterment of mankind rather than just the miniaturization of cable filament so his bat-grappler works better.   When turned on the farmboy who never crosses his own lines, Batman’s inherent darkness will win.  Superman is a little sappy.

“Oh,” I hear you say, “That means someone sappy like Superman isn’t relevant anymore.”  Yeah, that comes out every few years, and what happens?  Someone kills him, or makes him renouncecitizenship, or gives him a mullet, and people are up in arms: if this character is irrelevant, why do we care?  Because in the end all superheroes exist because of Superman.  In the end, everything a Superhero should be is Superman.

(In the interest of full disclosure, this is a breaking point in my initial writing; during the time this was on pause, The “Man of Steel” teaser hit, and a man with a lot of guns shot up a theater showing “The Dark Knight Rises.”  Neither of these events change my intent here, but I can’t say they won’t influence how I say it.)

It’s not just comics though, is it?  Look at this symbol:

I’ve been all over the world, and no matter where I go, this symbol means something: as much as any corporate logo, and in some cases as much as any religious emblem. Those kids 18 years ago knew that symbol. (And I will never forget the look in their eyes as they wondered if it were true…) When people see that symbol, they know it means more than ‘S.’  Sure, some people interpret it differently, but there’s one thing that symbol has meant to whomever I have talked to about it.

Look up.

With no irony, with no condescension, when you look up, Superman might be there, might just be a blue/red blur who will help us when we need it most.  More than that, Superman stands for all we have the potential to be: Superman saved a kitten from a tree.  I don’t need to be an invulnerable alien from Krypton to save a kitten.  Maybe I should save kittens, or help feed the poor, or help defend the helpless, or a million other things we CAN do without flying or being bullet-proof.

Look up.  A sensibility like that can lead to us not only looking up to see Superman, but to see ourselves up there, making this world a better place.  I know Superman is a fictional character, but he has come to symbolize an idea of something better, a light we so desperately need in our darkness.  I have many times said (and I know now incorrectly) that we want Superman; we need Batman.  No, we need a light shining in the darkness, we need an example of good with no sense of irony for our kids, for us, for our world.  The ‘S’ means that cross-culturally, an icon that instantly conveys rightness and hope for a better tomorrow.

Look up.  If you are writing Superman for page or screen, look up when you idealize him in media.  He’s important, and with the power of your written word comes great responsibility.  The essential nature of Superman is eternal and unchanging.  He is not a dark character and can never be.  His circumstances may be, but he is that light, that example.  I think the new teaser (though I am wary how good an interpretation the film will be) for the 2013 film Man of Steel does manage to capture this in Jor-El’s voice over:

"You will give the people an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time you will help them accomplish wonders". 

Look up.

I have great appreciation for the Batman, and will always.  What a great character, subject of great story and film.  Unlike any other fictional character I know of though, Superman means something; something that as I get older I realize I would rather find in my fiction than just the good guy beating up the bad guy.  Something better something calling us to action.  I want to answer that call, I want to make the world around me a better place with whatever powers and abilities I as mortal man have.  And so my tastes have changed.  With this blog, I declare my favorite hero to be Superman…

…though Batman would still take him in a fight.  And indeed, perhaps the fact Batman would take the Kryptonian in a fight is validation for my thoughts.  Superman would not compromise what he stands for to do what it takes to end Batman, and therefore lose to the Man who must do anything to win.  Superman’s ends do not justify his means, and finally in my life, neither do mine.  I’ve decided to try something.

I’m looking up.

All images property of Warner Bros, no infringement intended, no profit made

A quick recommendation...

While bouncing between moving vans and farewells, I managed got a copy of the latest issue of Detective Comics. Yeah, I said I would wait for the trade, but it's Greg Rucka, and came highly recommended by Eric Trautmann, who had a really good opening issue to "JSA Vs. Kobra: Engines of Faith" couple of weeks back. (Before I go any further, let me definitely recommend that as well; the best writing on my beloved Power Girl since Wally Wood put cleavage and attitude in a blender. Magnificent art as well by Don Kramer and Michael Babinski. Go look out a preview here; no, go ahead, I'll wait and you will be glad you looked.)

Welcome back. So I picked up the new Detective, which begins something I have been waiting for- Greg Rucka getting a monthly for his version of Kate Kane as Batwoman. Thanks to DC for waiting, what, two years? About time.

So, despite gallons of pent up anticipation, I am way NOT disappointed. The story is tight, and gives us a new villain, playing off a Lewis Carroll motif, which I have always found to be interesting in the Bat-verse. What really strikes me though is how the panel layouts complement the writing. There's a feel something like Eisner as J.H. Williams III propels the story with the very layouts of the page- and I swear there are some kind of esoteric messages hidden in the layouts themselves. I felt like I was doing a puzzle just reading the book, dragging me into the mystery. Great take on the character, and just a lot of visual prowess to keep you looking.

As if that's not enough, there's a second feature, further evoking the better days of comics! Rucka also brings back 52 alumnus Rene Montoya as The Question.




With art by Cully Hamner, the co-feature has a story worthy of its own issue, but tucked nicely in here to make me feel like I am getting $3.99 worth of comic. Hamner's work here evokes the best of the old Denny O'Neil Question from the late 80's, and visually ties the Vic Sage Question to the Rene Montoya Question better than any artist Mr. Rucka has worked with on this character before. (BTW- Hamner also illustrated the delightful "Black Lightning: Year One" by Jen Van Meter, another member of the Northwest Comic Mafia- go buy that too. Also of course, Hamner illustrated the still canceled Blue Beetle.)

OK- off to wait for the moving truck again. Blarrgh.

Ouch... it hurts a little.

Seriously, I am a little sore. I walked out of my comic shop on Wednesday night and I did not buy the newest issue of Detective Comics or the newest issue of Action Comics. I honestly cannot remember the last time I did not buy these two titles. For me, these two titles ARE the comic industry. This is Superman and Batman in their oldest titles. And yet, I left them sitting on the shelf at Olympic Cards and Comics (the greatest comic shop in the world, BTW). Why? How could I betray my childhood idols and ideals this way?

Well- In Detective, we were starting the "Last Rites" follow up to "Batman RIP." Since I am not really sure how Batman RIP ended, I didn't feel ready to dive into its follow up. So, I am (here it comes)... waiting for the trade.

Over in Action, DC was continuing the very interesting "New Krypton" storyline. It's really compelling- the idea of 100,000 people as powerful as Superman who did not have the benefit of an all-American, Norman Rockwell upbringing in Kansas. Geoff Johns is writing it, and I like his stuff. He also says its going to take up to two years to fully tell this story. Two years. So I made a decision. I am waiting for the trade.

I read a lot of comics each month, and usually two or three novels, a couple a magazines, tons of internet sites and articles, watch a couple hours of news a day, try to write fifty pages a month, watch the appropriate cartoons and Star Trek, run 15 miles a week, and be a soldier, husband, and father. I admit my sharp geek mind is not what it was. I can't keep up with all the details sometimes, and as it is I keep having to go back a reference stories from two months ago because the majority of stories are six issues long. DC has obviously decided six issue story arcs are too short, and we are going for the long haul. Well, I can't keep up. So, I am going for the trades so I can sit down on weekends and get the whole story at once. Maybe when the current "Crisis" is over I can go back to picking up "floppies" on Detective and Action.

I will miss them- I like 22 full color pages of escapism each month. Don't get me wrong- I like the Watchmen like stories that plumb the depths and bring true literary merit to the genre. More often than not though, I just want a comic book. I like Lagavulin scotch, but more often than not, I just want a beer (though I want it good, and I want it bottled). So, for the time being Detective and Action will have to wait until they are all collected for me to read. Ouch.

By the way, did I mention Blue Beetle is still canceled?

Geek talk!

OK- I have been bad and talking about everything but my usual geeky subjects, so let em take a moment to talk some full frontal nerdity.

Mouse Guard: Read it. Read it now if you can. The colors are gorgeous, the story adventurous, and it's a good tale with no giant crossover anywhere in sight. Eat it up, yum.

Star Trek: That movie is going to make Star Trek mainstream, and bring in all kinds of cash for Paramount. I don't want Star Trek mainstream. What makes Trek Trek is it ISN'T lowest common denominator. Maybe they can pull it all off, and it will appease me the guy who can give you Kirk's serial number off the top of my head (SC 937-0176CEC), and still appeal to everyone. Good luck. Regardless, they can't take my Classic Trek DVDs away, so either way, I win. Wow! I don't believe in the no-win scenario!

Batman RIP: Should have been called "Batman WTF." This was really written by the guy who gave me All-Star Superman? Yikes.

Batman- Brave and the Bold: New cartoon on Friday nights. Very much the old 1950s Dick Sprang Batman, and well worth your 22 minutes a week. This being out with Dark Knight so popular really speaks to the greatness of this character. Lot of fun to watch- can't wait to see their version of the Joker.

New Guns 'N Roses album: Not bad- not Guns 'n Roses. Just heard my first 'Apocalyptica' song though. Metal version of Bowie's "Heroes" sung in German by the lead singer of Rammstein. Neat!

That's all for now. Be on the look out, I will soon be shamelessly plugging a new website I will have rolling after the New Year. Thank you God, for the internet.

Batman's Smart.

Comic geeks like me can laugh at this picture.

Grammar geeks like me can debate the meaning of this post's title.

Geeky, squared.

I can't review this film.

So, I had every intention of pouring my adoration and praise on this film, this thing we call "The Dark Knight." So, I looked around to see what others were saying, see how the buzz was. I watched the box office. I was all ready to give my honest efforts to convince people what an incredible film this is, and get them to go give it a shot.

I guess I don't have to.

Look at the other movies I give lip service to here-- "Hancock," "Superman Returns;" these are movies I don't think got a fair shake and needed to be relooked. It seems obvious the remarkable piece of film Chris Nolan has given us has found its audience, and it really doesn't need me to help.

I was looking forward to pointing out the sublime intensity Heath Ledger brought to the Joker, to the point that you never look at the screen and say "oh look, it's Heath Ledger" but rather "oh God, it's the Joker." But a thousand other reviews have already done this. I want to talk about how this movie is a marvelous crime film that could just as easily have names like "Coppola" or "Scorsese" attached; that's been done as well.

As far as my reaction to the film, you can pretty much read Jett's review at Batman On Film here. He pretty well sums up how I felt after the film as well.

And, for once, a truly fine film is actually making the money it deserves. Now, I suppose my only hope is the overwrought, over-produced, over-long "Titanic" gets deposed as highest grossing film.

So, I am not really going to talk about "The Dark Knight." Leave the kids at home and go see it. It's the Batman movie I have been waiting for since Denny O'Neil (or back when Frank Miller still got it).

Wait! I do have a complaint. The movie makes "Batman Begins" seem old-fashioned. I really liked that movie...

Will there be a third? Will the Dark Knight Return? If he does I hope he brings at least one of these guys with him.





I do wish he could bring this guy.

I know the origin of the Joker!

Someone took their toddler to see this guy at the movie theater!



I could indeed wax poetic about this movie, and use all kinds of well deserved hyperbole. Let's just say I think I am going to have to choose which one of my top five favorite movies to bump to number six so Dark Knight can be number one. All the emotion and visceral effect I was looking for in movies this summer is here, giving me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach every time the Joker came on screen. Not only is the Joker anarchist, the movie makers destroyed all the rules of summer movie making to give us a film where the good guys really don't win. Brilliant movie.

Now let me explain the title of this blog.

Both times I have (so far) gone to the theater to see this film, someone had toddlers or babies there, to include a 9pm showing. Now, yes I also sat next to the Oh Shit Guy, but about six minutes and four "oh shits" into the film one patented "Dan's Scornfully Delivered Glare of Scorn" put an end to that. It was the three year old sitting behind me that was the problem. Not just for my enjoyment of the film, but the fact these parents didn't bother to be parent enough to look into this movie before dragging the kid in to see the most convincing portrayal of a sociopath in movie history. To be fair, the movie should be rated R, not PG 13; however, there's a large gap between 13 and 3. Let me thank these lousy parents for the reminder about why I had stopped going to movie theaters. And I hope when their kids' first mug shot looks like this:



They don't blame movies or video games or some other excuse, they accept they were just bad parents.

More about the movie later... Thanks for indulging my crotchety gripe about youngsters.

Returning to the Dark Knight

As anyone (if there is anyone) who reads this blog regularly knows, I am a great fan of The Bat-Man. As anyone who is a great fan of The Bat-Man knows, one of the great works in the Dark Knight’s history is Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. Now, I won’t dignify Miller’s new All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder with a mention, because, well, it sucks, but DKR was not only what revitalized Batman in the 80’s, but comics as well.

If you aren’t familiar with this work, it’s about a 55 year old Bruce Wayne, ten-years retired in a world that has outlawed superheroes and gone to pot. Only Superman still operates, but that is in exchange for having sold out and become and agent of the US Government. Written in the 80’s, the story takes place in front of a backdrop of a growing threat of nuclear exchange between the US and USSR, and features street gangs in Gotham that would make Alex and his Droogs at the Korova Milkbar cringe. Able to take no more, Wayne again assumes the mantle of the Dark Knight starting a social and political maelstrom that culminates in a fight to the death between Batman and Superman.

Recently, the director Robert Rodriguez made a picture perfect adaptation of Miller’s other great work Sin City. Fan boys have been spreading their fan boy fantasies around about the idea of these two getting together to do DKR- let’s face it; Hollywood and Warner Brothers will never be cool enough to let that happen, there’s a really good Batman franchise running right now, and if Hollywood and Warner Brothers did let it happen, they would stick fingers in the pie and screw it all up. BUT… if they did let it happen, here’s who I would see in my dream project, and this is of course considered with no accounting for budget, schedule, or reality (which I typically try to keep from plaguing me anyway.

Commissioner James Gordon-
The seventy year old Gordon is a man of principle, but still representative of a moral age long past. He is grizzled, yet fair, and offers advice about Batman to the incoming commissioner. I would give this role to the man many would pick to be Batman himself, Clint Eastwood- a hero from days past being put out to pasture.

Harvey Dent-
Formerly Two-Face, this ex district attorney is released from Arkham Asylum his face repaired. But which of his two personalities was excised? Let’s stick Mickey Rourke, who already has experience as a psycho in Rodriguez films, in this role of a man faking his repentance.

Commissioner Ellen Yindel-
Progressive, tough, and completely intolerant of masked vigilantes, she cannot understand how a man she has admired, Jim Gordon, could allow this criminal to operate. She’ll learn. A big gun and glasses on Ellen Barkin would cover this role nicely.

Dr. Bartholomew Wolper-
The doctor who declares both Two-Face and the Joker cured, and then blames Batman for the existence of crime in Gotham, he represents everything wrong with a blameless society. I’d like to say Vincent Schiavelli here, bt he passed on in December, so perhaps Donald Sutherland?

The Joker-
A mass murderer with more than 600 to his credit, the Joker went into a coma when Batman retired, and mutters not a word until the Dark Knight appears on the nightly news. His response? “B-b-b-Batman. Darling…” Call me crazy, but as an older Joker here I want to see David Bowie match his age with some Man Who Fell to Earth/Ziggy Stardust/Goblin King from Labyrinth nuttiness. Alternatively- give me Mark Hamill, who has voiced the Joker to perfection since the debut of Batman: The Animated Series in 1992.

Oliver Queen-
Always the bleeding heart of the Justice League, the Green Arrow has lost his arm to a fight with Superman, but returns for a small but crucial role in the battle between Batman and Superman. He’s an old bald hippy with a mean sense of humor and a radical’s ethic. Ed Harris, start your goatee now.

Robin-
13 year old Carrie Kelly is living in the hell her apathetic parents’ generation have allowed to exist. When she hears of the Batman returning, she literally buys a Robin costume from a rental agency, saves the Dark Knight’s life, and becomes the Girl Wonder. I really want to see this role cast age appropriate, so I won’t put a name here, since by the time scripting and preproduction is done, you’ll have to cast an eleven year old now, or find a very young looking teen girl. She should be solid, smart, but not too pretty. She’s a crimefighter, not a supermodel.

Superman-
He has compromised everything he ever stood for so he could continue in some small way to fight his never ending battle. He tries to talk Bruce down, but when Batman becomes too much a of a political liability (Batman keeps order in Gotham City in the wake of a Soviet Electro-Magnetic Pulse while the rest of the country falls into chaos) it comes down to the Dark Knight versus the Last Son of Krypton. Good luck, Supes- you’re gonna need it. There’s two ways you can go here. In the comic, Kent looks mature, but not older like the rest of them- perhaps the new Superman, Brandon Routh, should just continue this role along (or do we give Tom Welling his chance to don tights here?). Or, if we do want to mature the Man of Steel, give Kurt Russel a haircut and a cape.

And finally…
The Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader, the Batman-
He thought he was done- nothing left to fight with, but the world needs a Batman, and he must cast aside the life of the playboy (no longer just a façade) and retake the mantle of the Bat. Tell me how cool it would be to see the now older, wiser, and still well cast Michael Keaton step back into the role. I mean no disrespect to Christian Bale, and I always had problems with Tim Burton’s Batman films, but Keaton was dead on as Bruce Wayne, and based a lot of his performance on the DKR comic anyway. His only challenge will be pulling off Batman without the benefit of a big rubber suit. While Ed Harris grows his goatee, Mike, start working out.

For what it’s worth- those are my picks. Now, Warners- will it kill you to let it happen right? Don’t touch a thing, let Miller and Rodriguez handle it, and just collect the residuals. Please?? Pretty please???

Movies A la Dan!!!!

Well, I have been remiss in spreading my propaganda, haven’t I? It seems I did this more in Babylon than I do now in Germania- of course, in Babylon less people who deserved my attention were clamoring for my attention.

So rather than go off on another absinthe inspired tirade, I am going to keep this one short and simple. The five best and five worst films of all time as chosen by…

Well, me. No real criteria here but my own personal likes and dislikes. So here we go:

The Five Greatest Films Ever Filmed-

5- The Empire Strikes Back: Everything an action adventure movie should be, and introduces us to the best bad guy theme music ever. This is Lucas writing at his strongest, and having sense enough to let someone else direct. Golden Moment: “No Luke, I am your father!”

4- The Blues Brothers: a perfect mix of music, comedy, religion, and surrealism makes for Belushi and Aykroyd’s best movie, and a damn near perfect film. Golden Moment: “The BAND!”

3- Blade Runner: Stunning visuals that stand up to this very day in an SF film noir classic made 40 years after any other film noir movie. The excellent Ridley Scott creates a world both familiar and futuristic. Personally, I prefer his darker not so happy ending to the theatrical version, but I kinda miss Harrison Ford’s droning narration. Golden Moment: Rutger Hauer lets go of the dove.

2- The Usual Suspects: Wow, it’s the movie that gets better every time you see it because it shows you all the clues to the trick (which I refuse to spoil here) ending are right in front of you. Golden Moment: “That’s when he showed these men of will what will really was…”

1- Fight Club: It’s gross, socially irredeemable, and is the most subversive argument for nuclear families ever made. A great adaptation of the book that puts a movie ending on that wouldn’t work in a book and abandons the book ending that wouldn’t work in a movie. Golden Moment: “In Judeo-Christian society our image of God is based on our Fathers. What if you don't have one? We are a generation of men raised by women…”


And now, lets see how bad they can get:

5- Blade: Awful performances, confused villains, and a complete rejection of 500 years of vampire lore make this just an awful film. It made me angry that I wasted my time to watch it. In fact, all of these five did that in increasing degrees the further we get down the list. Crappiest Moment: Deacon Frost wants to kill every human on earth; what are you going to eat, dumb ass?

4- Hollow Man: There’s not a single likeable character in this to commiserate with- I don’t care what happens to the bad guy, the good guys, or the people in the middle. The director’s love for senseless shock scenes and the sudden bestowal of super strength on the villain about ¾ of the way through earn this special mention. Crappiest Moment: Having just left the villain for dead in the hallway, the heroes run by. His body is gone, AND NO ONE NOTICES!

3- Terminator 3: I love it when someone writes a sequel to a movie they didn’t understand. T2 was all about the fact that Judgment Day was not destined, and we can make our own destinies. Not now, now it’s going to happen regardless and our heroes just postponed it long enough to piss me off. Crappiest Moment: Sara Conner was so confident in her natural born leader son at the end of T2 that she filled her grave with weapons for him to use when he is proven wrong. No wonder Linda Hamilton wouldn’t come back- but why, Arnie? WHY!!??

2- Alien Resurrection: I loved the first three (yes even Alien 3, I dug it) and I love Joss Whedon, but what the director did to his really interesting script is unforgivable. The movie bounces between slasher movie and schlock horror, never being enough of either to be worth the effort. A total waste of a decent idea. Crappiest Moment: In the throes of having a chestburster, well rip through his chest, a character exacts revenge on another character by running across the room and holding his victim’s head in front of his sternum. What?

And the worst film ever made:

1- Batman and Robin: Arnold strikes again in a film that took everything that was wrong with the barely passable Batman Forever and focuses on those parts. A complete failure from the very beginning it has entire sections of dialog replicated from the third film, and takes The Batman’s most brilliant and formidable foe, Bane, and turns him into a monosyllabic bit player. Crappiest Moment: Everything between the opening credits and the end credits. If I have to pick one though it has to be the Bat Credit Card. Adam West wouldn’t put up with that crap…


Well, nothing Earth shattering, but it’s what’s on my mind. Or at least what’s left of my mind (insert maniacal laughter here…).

Jesus or Batman

I've been debating what this entry would be. I've had a lot of religious discussions lately. I have a degree in it, and some fairly organized if somewhat unorthodox beliefs. People ask my advice on spiritual matters, and even though I caveat every comment with "this is how I believe" or "in my faith system" I will be more than happy to share that opinion. On the other hand, I am an avid comic reader and am experiencing the joys of getting a friend into the habit. She's settling on Batman as her favorite, and I feel I may have jaded her somewhat since that is my favorite as well.

I realize though that my desire to speak about either is a reflection of my desire to extend my will upon others. I talk a big show about religious freedom, and not judging people for being Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Taoist, Buddhist, Hindu, or the vast mosaic that is the human desire to attain the Divine, but frankly I would have everyone listen to my interpretation and say, "hey, he's right, let's all do what he does!" It worked for Jesus, and I have to admit, I would like it to work for me. I suppose though that I am not willing to put a sword to anyone's throat if they don't convert, and that makes me a bit more Jesus or Siddhartha than Jones or Koresh.

I also want everyone to read Batman, or comics in general and see what I see; modern mythology and characters who like the gods of old personify certain attributes we mere mortals can aspire to. Superman is Truth; Batman is Justice; Spider-man is Duty- that's what I want people to see.

And my favorite is just a man- Batman. Yet he is more than that. Jesus- just a man, yet more.

Yep, I really have been talking about the same thing. I aspire to Jesus and to Batman and I want others to do the same. Perhaps that makes me selfish, or a hypocrite.

I think I can live with that.