Unified Field Theory: Adama squared.

It's been a while since I simply dropped into full geek mode here on Black Owl, but I've had one festering for a while in the back of my head, and I think it's time. This is my unifying theory to unite the classic Glen Larson Battlestar Galactica (henceforth “GL”version), with the modern Ron D. Moore, “greatest-TV-show-ever-made-according-to-Dan” version (RDM version). There will be spoilers for both shows, so if you haven't seen or finished either, but plan to, it may be time to turn away now. You've been warned.







First, I must establish some ground rules here. I am reluctant to include Galactica 1980 in the canon as any more than an interesting thought which met the poorest execution imaginable. Indeed, setting the arrival of the Galactica to Earth in 1980 not only puts a kink in my theory, it also contradicts the Classic Galactica episode “The Hand of God” in which the ship intercepts a transmission from the Earth Apollo 11 mission to the Moon. I freely admit science was very shaky on the original show; it was never really established whether or not the Galactica even had a faster than light drive, though lightspeed travel is mentioned on a few rare occasions. Terms like “solar system” and “galaxy” are used interchangeably. I think we have to accept that there is some form of super-luminal drive however, and further that the Galactica is still pretty far from Earth at the end of season one. G1980 claims thirty years have passed since the Cylons destroyed the colonies, putting that destruction around the Earth year 1950. Unless the first season of classic Galactica is actually twenty years long (and it obviously isn't), they could not have intercepted the Moon landing. Perhaps they are moving at relativistic speeds, thereby suffering time dilation effects, but then Baltar, during his time spent with the Cylons, would have aged at a different rate than the Colonists. Besides, the Apollo transmission itself is only moving at the speed of light, so depending on how many light-years the Galactica is from Earth at intercept, it has to be that many years after the famous Moon landing on Earth. Therefore, if the Galactica is twenty light-years from the signal's origin, it is already 1989 on Earth.

I will however give 1980 credit for introducing the first human looking Cylon, which actually ties into my theory very well. After all, this has all happened before and will all happen again.

I submit that despite the fact the RDM show follows the exploits of a particular group of survivors, there would have been more. We know the Pegasus was finding other civilian ships, and doubt they found all of them. Anders' little band of merry Pyramid players can't be the only people in the mountains on Caprica when the Cylon bombs fell. Eleven other planets had to have some survivors. Yes, many would have been herded up and out when the Cylons claimed Caprica, but humans are remarkably resilient, and it does not seem that far fetched some were waving good-bye when the Cylons left Caprica to go meet up with the escaping Colonial fleet at New Caprica (as seen in “The Plan”).

So, while Kara Thrace and William Adama are off with Gaius Baltar realizing that the Cylon god-entity is in fact...God, there are a number of poor schleps mucking about on the twelve colonies who have no idea that the machines which tried to kill them are all part of an ongoing cycle of evolution throughout the universe. All they know is what our cast knew in season one: Humanity came from Kobol to found the twelve tribes, there's a thirteenth tribe out there somewhere called Earth, and by they way, we are all a bunch of poly-theists. Now of course, they are living in the ashes of holocaust, and there are problems with radiation and the like, but there is also an essential distrust of technology, and a new dark age. While Adama is burying Roslin and choosing to swear off technology, the Capricans are kind of forced into it, but still not too happy with robots.*




We know from RDM that two things happen when the Colonists settle on Earth and scuttle the fleet: one, a surviving group of “toaster” Cylons take a Basestar and go off to find their destiny; two, Humans and Cylons mix ingraining certain things into our racial memory. Their decedents will accept their zodiac, worship their gods, and eventually, with an eerie accuracy, re-discover their technology. There's 150,000 years in which to do so.

So during that 150K, what's happening in the 12 Colonies, and what's happening with our Toaster friends?

On Caprica, and the other colonies, the human race is growing again. It's going to take time; the aforementioned radiation is going to be an issue, as is the diminished population. Humans will survive though, and eventually rebuild a civilization as the Colonies of Kobol, as they were before, but with more flowy chiffon clothing. Eventually there will even be technology, and a new fleet of Battlestars. Indeed, perhaps the cycle plays out a couple of times in this period. GL Galactica may not be the first time the Capricans rise from the ashes. For this theory to work though, we do have to accept that the Colonists have lost track of how long ago humanity left Kobol; in accordance with Genesis and the Book of Mormon (on which many original BSG concepts are based) humanity came to be on Kobol only 6000 years before GL BSG takes place, brought into existence by the Beings of Light. It doesn't seem to difficult to believe those histories will be renewed by any successive generation of Capricans, confusing events in their past, but keeping the basics the same (see our own histories and Noah, Atlantis, Gilgamesh, and the Navajo story of Turtle).

Meanwhile, the surviving Toasters who leave New Earth, return to their old stomping grounds, perhaps in an effort to trace their own origins. They return to space near Kobol and the Colonies. They evolve. They start the cycle again. Perhaps those Toasters decide they still want to become organic, but not human. In GL Galactica we find out their Cylons began as a reptilian race eventually overthrown by machines... what if the origins of those reptiles were in fact the surviving Cylons from RDM Galactica, attempting a different kind of biological evolution, but instead repeating the cycle?

The result is the same. A thousand year (yahren) war between humans on the twelve colonies, and the Cylon Empire. While you and I, human/cylon decedents ourselves, are heading toward the cycle again with little ditties like the industrial revolution, the creation of pocket calculators, and eventually computers, and Bob Dylan's “All Along the Watchtower,” it seems GL Galactica is happening, and repeating the great cycle. Perhaps as racial memory, some of us even suspect such a thing is going on:

There are those who believe that life here began out there, far across the universe, with tribes of humans who may have been the forefathers of the Egyptians, or the Toltecs, or the Mayans. Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man who even now fight to survive somewhere beyond the heavens.

There are still a few mysteries here: who exactly ARE the Beings of Light and Count Iblis? Perhaps survivors of the original Kobol or original 13th Tribe (Cylon Earth), or “Angels” not unlike Head Six and Head Baltar from RDM? (I'm a little partial to the idea that perhaps somewhere there are other copies of the Final Five, and Count Iblis is a last remaining Cavil who survived the battle at The Colony.) Are the other human worlds the GL Galactica finds (Terra) also descendants from Kobol, or left over survivors from the RDM Cylon apocalypse? Is Dirk Benedict Starbuck the messianic figure Kara Thrace was? Should we count Galactica 1980? It does feature Dr. Zee, a human/Being of Light hybrid, who may be that series' Kara; and as mentioned before, GL Cylons making human versions, starting the great cycle themselves. Then I see flying motorcycles and say 'no.'

So that's the basic idea. The two Galacticas are in the same universe, but the earlier version actually happens after the newer version. Imagine Lorne Greene's rag tag fleet arriving to our world, just as our own Cylons begin to exhibit behavior not quite so subservient... say! I smell a fanfic coming on!





*As an aside, I have heard a number of people tell me they cannot believe the surviving Colonists who make it to New Earth at the end of RDM Galactica would give up technology so easily. I submit you may be off a different opinion when your iPods commit genocide and start a four year chase across the galaxy to do nothing more than kill you. Suddenly, my favorite playlists seem a little less necessary.

It's called the law, Slick.

So, as I understand it, we have laws and rules in our society for a reason. Regardless of where you fall in the Government meddling spectrum, there are rules I think we all agree are there because they need to be. All of us, as individuals have the choice whether or not we want to follow those laws, but in the end, we are saying we are willing to deal with the consequences of violating them. Let's take for instance traffic laws. To me, that is likely the category of law we as citizens are most likely to break.

We may not all agree that a particular stretch of road should have a 30 MPH speed limit as opposed to a higher or lower one, but we usually adhere fairly well. I know on the open road, I like to cruise about ten miles or so higher than the speed limit, but in residential areas, I keep it low. (Please keep in mind I get passed in both situations ALL THE TIME, but that's a blog for another time). There are some places we have all agreed to allow our Governments to enforce more strictly. School zones for instance. Though I often speed, and see fellow speeders, we seem as individuals to understand that doing 50 on a small road next to a school letting kids out is a bad thing. Sure, you may get a ticket for your victimless crime of speeding elsewhere, but as an individual, you may loose your license speeding through a school zone. It's a hazardous area, and there are known safety issues.

We don't increase fines and punishments in school zones to protect the driver. We do it to protect the potential child victims. We know the results of recklessness in a school zone would be catastrophic, and we punish people, individuals, for taking the risk. In Arizona, it's a minimum $300 ticket for speeding in a school zone, and double if there are kids present. What happens when you run over someone?

If circumstances warrant, you go to prison. It's not murder, you didn't intend it. However, if you ignoring safety laws on the streets results in someone dying, you are punished for manslaughter, depending on your assessed amount of culpability. I don't consider this government meddling, I consider it the enforcement of common sense, which unfortunately seems to be necessary in a society supposedly made up of adults. If a person ignores all the warnings, if a person acts in an unsafe manner, and someone else gets hurt, it is only common sense that the violator gets punished. Additionally, the responsible party should pay for property damages. Should the victim die, the violator is guilty of taking human life, and will likely get that manslaughter charge and go to prison. When one individual through their irresponsible actions take another human life, we rely on the Government system to take care of it. We rely on the Government to come up with laws in regard to hazards, we rely on the Government to enforce them, we rely on the Government to punish an individual, a person, when they violate those laws. Especially an egregious violation of safe actions.

What if an individual killed eleven people through willful disregard for the law? What if further, that willful disregard resulted in untold damage to the area around them? Perhaps they ignored an ordnance on fires in city limits. The house next door caught on fire, and eleven people died inside. How would we punish that individual? What if they admitted to their own culpability? Would we say, “That's ok, it's not a big thing of you just sweep up the ashes.” No, that person would go to prison.


I don't care what side of Government regulation you're on. The safety rules for off-shore drilling exist because it is a hazardous situation. It's dangerous to the people on the platform, it's dangerous to the environment, it's hard work done by good people every day. British Petroleum willfully ignored safety again and again, in Washington; in Texas City where another 15 people died; in Alaska. If any individual person repeatedly broke laws protecting the people around them and were responsible for at least 26 deaths, they would be locked up. In particular of a person did those things for the purpose of making more money, they would be reviled, and not just criminal. I am not even going to talk about the oil spill; BP KNEW this rig was dangerous, and they didn't shut it down, and they killed eleven people. I'm not going to argue Government regulation; BP wasn't even following their OWN safety regulations. If BP were a person, they would be locked up, they SHOULD be locked up. This exact situation is why we have laws in the abstract sense, much less the specific OSHA regulations. If only, BP was a person!




Oh wait. They are. In the early 1800s, the United States Supreme Court ruled Corporations were legal persons. The Court upheld this in 1854 with Marshall v. Baltimore & Ohio R. Co. This Corporation has killed 26 people in the last five years. This person has killed 26 other people. I don't care what anyone's opinion is on Government intervention. Mr. BP has acted in a criminal sense, and in our society we lock up criminals. No, I am not saying we take each member of BP and put them in jail (though some are certainly tempting...), but why do we lock up criminals? To remove them from societal interaction. Then while they are in prison, we employ them for society's benefit; make some license plates or lightbulbs, etc. BP as a corporation should be kept from doing business, from interacting in a normal fashion. Then, when all the money stops coming in, the billions they are worth should be taken and put toward fixing what they have destroyed, not unlike how we take drug dealer money and put it into law enforcement.

Sure, chalk me up as a liberal blogger pissed off about oily birds. Feel free to use your own confirmation bias to feel good about dismissing what I say as just like the green freaks out there. Then notice, I am not talking about the environment. Then think about your kid being the one run down in the school zone. Then think about your kid being the one in the explosions at Texas City or on the Deepwater Horizon. This is about the deaths of human beings for the profit margin of another. This is about a lawful and orderly society, and punishing those who act against it. Government regulation? Don't care, not part of my argument. What I want to know BP, is where, where is your fucking morality? You, BP have acted like a sociopath incapable of empathy, a threat to others around you. You should be punished and your own employees should be protected from you. That's not nosing into business interest, that's not abrogating capitalism, that's what a Government is there to do; protect the interest of citizens. It's too late for 26 of them. Face up to it BP, be a man... you know, like the law says you are.

Priorities.

I bear no ill will toward Michael Jackson or his family. Where, however, are our priorities? I suppose making a green twitter avatar is enough for most Americans.

I am not trying to point out MSNBC here either. When I went to capture the image for this, MSNBC was the only news website whose MJ coverage actually shared a frame with serious news. CNN and FOX both had their Michael coverage so big, there was no room for things like Iran, Iraq, North Korea, or the economy.

Rest in Peace MJ- you should come back and haunt us and remind us there are other things going on in the world.

Not with a bang but with a whimper.

Why a whimper? Fear. Fear is what drives people these days. Fear of the economy crashing, fear of the terrorists, fear of change. Fear drives hate. Fear drives paranoia. Fear drives bigotry.

This last couple of weeks, I have been poking fun at our society with some TS Eliot, and have been waiting for that funny little story to post to fit the title of this post, something full of snark and absurdity.

Instead, I got this:


Sorry, TS- there were bangs signalling the end and they were gunshots in a Holocaust museum.

See, this is where fear leads. It leads to ideas of us and them, and once we have us and them, we have to be better than they are. Then they have to be bad. Then they have to die. In this case, it's a White Supremacist, and like so many intloerant bastards, he claims God is on his side, and he's working for Jesus.

Hey asshole, Jesus was a Jew who claimed everyone on Earth was a child of God.

The White Supremacist movement wants America back to its core values.

Hey asshole, America was founded under the principle that all men are created equal. Forgive the irony that time and place of authorship paints that statement with, but this is America, and we are all in here together.

There are a lot of honest Conservatives out there who just genuinely want to maintain their faith and values while honestly being part of the solution. Here's a chance; denounce this man now. Right now. Make sure Neo-Nazis don't become the face of Conservatism in America. Talk about how we can acknowledge we have different beliefs, but we don't have to resort to violence over it.

There are a lot of Liberals out there who will equate this to Conservatism as a whole. Don't do it. Acknowledge the good honest Conservative movement out there, and reach out to it in order to work together to put aside the fear this man tried to sow.

America. Put aside your fear. E Pluribus Unum- it's the only way America survives this Century.

Otherwise, it goes out with a whimper of fear.

This is the way the world ends (3).

So, as I was watching the local news tonight I came across this story. That's right, PETA is concerned people are throwing dead fish.

Dead fish.

I am a big animal guy. I've had dogs, cats, chickens, goats, pigs, rats, guinea pigs, cockatiels, finches, doves, beetles, spiders, slugs, and of course, fish which I would consider pets. I am fully aware I anthropomorphize animals, but I really think our behaviors are evolutionary leftovers rather than us really projecting human emotion on animals. I don't think we should abuse any animals, even the ones we eat.

The fish in Pike Place are dead. They are not being abused. Why? Because they are dead. PETA- there are legitimate animal abuses you have pointed out and put the kibosh on; why would you pull something asinine like this and make yourselves look stupid?



Much better.

This is the way the world ends (2).

I took this photo at Target the other day while looking for Star Trek toys. These are maternity short-shorts. No seriously. These are (listen once more, and just roll it around your skull) MATERNITY SHORT-SHORTS.

Maybe my incredulity will get me hate mail, but... maternity short-shorts?

This is the way the world ends.

So, I am a big fan of science. People tell me (on both sides) that it's contradictory to be an enthusiast of Science while being a man of Faith, but I am personally all into the idea God loves knowledge and gets a happy proud parent grin whenever we do something like map his human genome or figure out something on the Deific concept of quantum entanglement.

I am also a big fan of America as a nation and concept. It always hurts my heart a little when I hear about American students not holding up in Science against foreign students, but I also keep in mind a lot of the countries to which these studies compare us don't allow kids below a certain grade point to go to High School and instead send them to a trade school, thereby guaranteeing another generation of wrench turners and plunger pilots (both honorable and necessary professions, don't get me wrong). So I am usually not too bothered by the numbers because I know our schools allow everyone in, and on occasion someone who seemed destined to just be a clerk in a patent office has a flash go off in their head and the theory of relativity is born (yes, I know he didn't start in America- it's just an example. Sheesh you're a tough crowd today!).

So, it was with great joy we went to The Daughter's 8th Grade science fair last night. Let me talk about The Daughter for a moment. This is the girl who in 7th Grade asked her teacher if she could skip reading “Ole Yeller” because she was immersed in “Beowulf.” She also recently wrote an essay describing how initiating curfews leads to a tyrannical state and the duty of the citizen to hold the state accountable and at bay. 'At's my girl.

Anyway, The Daughter does a science project using soap to open human cells and electrolytes in gatorade to create a solution with visible chains of DNA, to see if you can tell the difference between different humans and even animals (getting the sample from the cat was a real pleasure- helpful Dad). I expected similar work from her fellow 8th Graders. After all teachers approved this stuff.

Instead I was greeted with such projects as “Will I last longer if I play as a bad guy in 'Fable II'?” and “How long will different Kool-Aid flavors dye my hair?” There were also several kids who did the old “Bread Mold- which one develops faster” trick, which each of my kids did in 4th Grade.

I suppose I don't fault the kids for going with what interests them, but why the hell are teachers approving this and letting people think its science? There were a couple of other kids, probably four including The Daughter, who didn't cop out and did something which taught as well as used scientific method. And a few at least had hypothesis/test/result formats. I don't understand though why we are letting ourselves get away with this.

Further- there were no prizes handed out. Only participation ribbons, all of which were blue. And, the whole thing, literally all of it, was over in 30 minutes. The last pep rally took an hour.

I know public education has its problems, but how many are self induced? Have we beaten these teachers into submission with low salaries and PC rules? Do I really need a computer in every classroom just to tell a kid that playing a video game isn't science?

Oh- by the way. Playing “Fable II” aggressively and not bothering to think about what your doing makes you last longer. Thanks for the life lesson, kid.

The Daughter is looking for passage off planet.

Not so Easy.

So, my firm takes me all over the world, and I have been in some fairly downtrodden places. I have been in airports which make me wonder how they could possibly manage to fuel jets without them bursting into flame due to their conditions. I think airports can tell you a lot about a city: from the frenetic motion carrying you along through Atlanta International's sprawl, to the DFW groups waiting to greet American soldiers with flags and bands, you can get a feeling for the town, though you may never step outside the security gate.

I am in the New Orleans airport right now. It reminds me of Sarajevo.

There is a smell lingering in the air, which at first evokes dirty laundry, but it is in fact just the mildew that seems to have crept into every building. There's a certain tired look in the eyes of the people, like they have been just trying to persevere, to keep themselves moving forward toward the next hardship. The buildings and hotels around it are made up of similarly tired people and moldy rooms and broken beds and doors which don't quite fit in their frames anymore. Damage is apparent, not only to the structures of homes, but to the psyche of those who live in them. It reminds me of distant, less fortunate lands riddled with war, and those who desperately wish it was what it once was.

But this is not some foreign country. This is America. This is one of the jewels of our nation. It is in pain, and watching the news I fear it will soon not be alone.

What was the moment? When did some young Roman citizen look out across the seven hills and say “this will be gone soon?” Did they have a clue before Alaric brought the Visigoths to the gates and demanded the city as tribute? Could they see it coming? If they had, could someone have reversed course-- have saved the Roman Empire from falling, the loss of culture, the 700 years of darkness which followed across Europe?

New Orleans is a canary in a coal mine for our nation. Its song is trying to fade.

Are you listening?