2011 Round Up

Hello everyone,   Christmas 2011

Sometimes it feels like I am writing one of these every 20 minutes, but in fact it has been a whole year. They keep going faster and faster and I'm reminded of two great truths: nothing changes and everything changes.

Two-Thousand Eleven has been a pretty academic year for the Fosters. Zachary has finished his Associate's. Jennifer has finished her Bachelor's. I finished my Master's. Hannah, still in her Junior Year, has done her first college class. That's a lot of studying, but we are all in preparation for the future... because it is now.

This is likely the last year we will all be together in the same house. Zack is planning on leaving the nest and heading into the world, possibly by the time you read this. He's looking around for Law Enforcement positions and prepping his pepper spray. I thought I was raising Batman, but I think we got Commissioner Gordon instead; an honest cop to a fault, and I couldn't be more proud. Too bad he can't grow a cool Gary Oldman style mustache. We are going to miss him when he goes, but are really excited to see him get out into the world and fix it. That, and Eightball wants his own room...

Hannah has become someone whom I not only love as a daughter, but enjoy spending time with as a person. She's articulate and funny, but sometimes goes off with the type of mouth Fosters are famous for. I should tell her to watch her mouth, but at times her profanity is sculpted like Michaelangelo working in four-letter words. It's an artform she is mastering, and she has the brains to back up her points. Also, we watch a lot of Doctor Who together. She's looking forward to some of the changes 2012 brings, which I will get into in a moment.

Zack isn't the only superhero in the Foster family; Jennifer—along with her academic success—has been volunteering with the Red Cross helping several families who lost their homes in fires, to include the Monument Fire which made national news this year. She's building up the resume to get to our next duty station and find some work saving the world herself. Very exciting to think about what she's going to be up to in the coming year, be it work or her own Master's program (or both). Again, we are getting ready for the next phase.

That next phase is about here. In the Spring we make what should be our last move for My Firm and return to the Great Green Northwest. About that time I should be pinning CW4, and the 36 (or possibly 24) month countdown to retirement starts then. I have truly loved My Firm, but phase two is about here, and it is time for something new. Not sure what that will be, and My Firm still wants me to give them one more trip to the badlands, but that's a small price to pay for joining the Check of the Month Club.

See? Everything is changing: new city, new jobs, new school, new ranks. Everything is staying the same: save the world, get educated, be busy. The world isn't going to end in 2012; we won't let it.

So, we ask this year you indulge us just a bit longer as we may be sporadic in reaching out. Please believe me when I tell you we love you all and we hope Christmas and the holiday season finds you all looking forward to 2012, and the New Year being kind to you. Keep calm and carry on, and we will all get through this together.   Merry Christmas!  Happy Chanukah! Happy New Year!  Occupy 2012!

The Fosters

End of Year, 2010.

So, for those who might have missed it, here's this year's holiday letter! Happy New Year...

Dear Friends and Family,
Here it is, that time again: the Holidays are upon us and it is time for your update on how we the Fosters are doing!

It has been in many ways a tough year. Jennifer and I are of the belief that every person has allotted in their lifetime a certain amount of leisure time, and a certain amount of work time; we are diligently using up our work time, and though fulfilling, there are days when we really feel like pulling some time out of the leisure bank. Moving forward though, and even occasionally seeing some of the fruits of our labors. 2010 saw Jennifer receive her Associate's Degree, and since she's been simultaneously working on two degrees, we will shortly see her walk across the stage for her Bachelor's. She's also been doing volunteer work for the Red Cross, all in preparation for fulfilling her dream of helping her fellow humans; it's a desire in sad shortage these days.

Zachary is also now a member of the work force. What started as a work study for him became a real job when the Cochise College sold their security contract to the same organization which I saw providing security for Constitution Hall last year. He's also learned about frantic midnight calls to come fill shifts for people who didn't show, and what the phrase “double shift” means. He has some promising prospects with the Sierra Vista Police Department as well, so keep your eyes open for officer Foster in the future. Yes, he WILL give you a ticket.

Then there's my scary little daughter. This young lady is bored to death with school and teenage drama, and for her sweet sixteen wanted one thing: to go to a Seahawks game (they beat the Cardinals, by the way...). She is both marvelously sly and terrifically funny, and is an incredible person of whom Jennifer and I are both very proud. She's not a kid when you sit and have a conversation with her; she is a young, witty, talented woman with whom you do not want to trifle. Amazing brain; like her father, a few motivation issues.

As for her father, I am doing all right. Busy (though not as busy as Jennifer) with school and work, and looking to see whether or not my firm will make me a Chief Warrant Officer Four this coming year. If not, 20 is plenty, and I can put this Master's I am working on to good use as funny old professor Foster in some little college somewhere. Looking forward to a corduroy jacket with tweed elbow pads to replace my current firm's ideas of fashion. Looking forward to more time for running as well. Completed my first marathon in 2010, looking forward to another in 2011. We'll see what I can do when retirement hits and I'm not playing military games at 5AM instead of running!

Let us not forget the four-legged Fosters either. You may remember our Christmas puppy from last year; Eightball has settled in, though is not less wacky, he certainly keeps poor old Patches on her toes. She is more than happy to slap him upside the head though, and it's always funny to see the dejected look he gives when she does. He's a little more tech savvy though as a young dog; find him on Facebook as “Eightball Tiberius Foster.”

So as Christmas trees sprout around us, and lights twinkle in the night, the Fosters are tired but well, and ready to get another year closer to fine...We send out love, and hope all is well with you. Hopefully we will talk to you before this time next year!

Daniel, Jennifer, Zack, Hannah, Patches, and Eightball

Things I learned in my move.

Having just completed a move from my beloved Great Northwest to my nostalgia filled (read that as "haunted by my past") Great Southwest, I learned some things along the way. As is the nature of blogging, I will now share those things with you!

I am being followed by Birds of Prey.
I had a pair of Bald Eagles in Washington who liked to poop on my car on the Highway. Now the joker above stalks my back yard. Yikes.

Direct TV Hates Military People.
I had DTV in WA, and the Lovely Jennifer called them to tell them we were moving and would be cutting our service. After trying for quite some time to get us to transfer, they rather snootily informed us we would need to cut our service off two weeks before we move to allow time to receive a "recovery kit." This is basically a Fed Ex box with a return sticker inside. DTV then didn't send the box. When I called them to tell them I would be moving before they could now send me the box, they told me I would have to take it with me, and then Fed Ex it from Arizona. I said that was ridiculous, and if someone could come to my house to put it in, they could come to pick it up. The rep told me they don't work that way. So, I told them I would take the receiver with me, but if it received damage on the trip, too bad. Also, since they were unwilling to make up for their mistake of not sending the kit in the first place, they would forever lose me as a customer. They were willing to accept that. No offer of coupons, no make you a deal, just basically "fuck off, we have enough customers." I know I have no method of really hurting them, but starting right here, they have purchased a lot of bad publicity. Oh- when I moved into my new house, I got another recovery kit- for the people who just left. A kit sent too late, just like mine. No regard for the military. Want to be a Patriot and support your troops? Cut off Direct TV, and tell them why.

The United States Post Office Charges to Change Your Address.
We did a COA card with no problem in WA. When I get here to finalize, the PO has nothing but little cards with a website. I go to the website and in order to "confirm my identity" they need my Credit Card, which will be charged a dollar for verification. Yeah, I know- it's a dollar. Now, multiply that by everyone who moves in a month's time. Hey USPS, how does it feel to be on the brink of extinction? My beloved internet will be spitting on your grave in the near future... The same internet the USPS used to SEND ME SPAM as part of my verification process! That's right, "now you've changed your address, would you like to receive special deals or magazines?" All that was missing were ads for penis enlargement and cialis.



St. George, Utah is a really pretty town.
One of the stops we made in the 1900 mile journey. They were about to have a Shakespeare festival too...



Horses.
I like them. Haven't been on one since I was three, but I like them. Some of them even like me. They like The Daughter more...


Direct TV Sucks.
Yeah, I know we covered that, but I wanted to make sure I got the point across. I am all for Free Market, but the simple fact is when a corporation get so big losing a single customer, or even a hundred, doesn't actually have affect we are no longer in a consumer controlled economy. Corporatism is just as totalitarian as Collectivism.

Hoover Dam is neat.
I bet Hoover's ghost likes it much better than Hooverville.


I lose complete contact with the world without my beloved internet.
Seriously, I am oddly unable to communicate with people far away by any other means than the web. I won't even pick up a phone- it's awful. I'll talk your ear off in person, and have a multitude of web presences... Yet, I was out of touch with everyone the week I had no internet.

I don't need TV.
I don't. Having been off-put by my DTV experience (did I mention they suck?), I decided not to get cable TV either. It occurred to me I was paying for 200 channels so I could watch five, all of which stream programming on my beloved internet. William Gibson was right, all I need is the brain jack.

So, are these important lessons? No, likely not, but they were fun to learn. The important thing to take away here is...

Direct TV Sucks.

Some random stuff...

Well, time grows short here in the Great and Free Northwest States of Greatness and Freedom, and soon I will be heading to warmer, dryer climates. I've had a few Blog ideas bouncing around in my head, but nothing too definite, so I figured I'd throw out a few little ones.

Though with less fanfare than her High School graduate brother, The Daughter has also reached one of life's milestones; finishing the 8th Grade. Her school did nothing for it, so she wasn't particularly excited, but my youngest is now a High School student as well, and will be attending the school from which I matriculated many years ago. At last we will have revenge.



The Lovely Jennifer started it, but now everyone I know is calling me "Sheldon." If you haven't watched CBS' The Big Bang Theory you may not get the reference. It is a very funny show, however tired of being compared to the main geek in the show, I was going to do a blog entry pointing out five reasons I was NOT Sheldon. I could only come up with three.

In related news, the 3 3/4" Star Trek figures at Wal-Mart have been marked down to five bucks. I have been buying Scottys and putting GI Joe heads on them to make expendable Red Shirts. I see a Landing Party gone horribly wrong in their future...


Related to that- I got my JJprise keychain. It makes me happy to sing the music from the film loudly and fly the ship around. More joy than any keychain should bring any man. BTW- I am campaigning for Jolene Blalock to play T'Pring in the next film. Likely? No, but Star Trek is about hope, isn't it?





Kind of a no-brainer I think...







That's all for now- on the road soon, and I will likely next broadcast from a state with a setting sun on it's flag. Hope I can find sushi...

This is the way the world ends.

So, I am a big fan of science. People tell me (on both sides) that it's contradictory to be an enthusiast of Science while being a man of Faith, but I am personally all into the idea God loves knowledge and gets a happy proud parent grin whenever we do something like map his human genome or figure out something on the Deific concept of quantum entanglement.

I am also a big fan of America as a nation and concept. It always hurts my heart a little when I hear about American students not holding up in Science against foreign students, but I also keep in mind a lot of the countries to which these studies compare us don't allow kids below a certain grade point to go to High School and instead send them to a trade school, thereby guaranteeing another generation of wrench turners and plunger pilots (both honorable and necessary professions, don't get me wrong). So I am usually not too bothered by the numbers because I know our schools allow everyone in, and on occasion someone who seemed destined to just be a clerk in a patent office has a flash go off in their head and the theory of relativity is born (yes, I know he didn't start in America- it's just an example. Sheesh you're a tough crowd today!).

So, it was with great joy we went to The Daughter's 8th Grade science fair last night. Let me talk about The Daughter for a moment. This is the girl who in 7th Grade asked her teacher if she could skip reading “Ole Yeller” because she was immersed in “Beowulf.” She also recently wrote an essay describing how initiating curfews leads to a tyrannical state and the duty of the citizen to hold the state accountable and at bay. 'At's my girl.

Anyway, The Daughter does a science project using soap to open human cells and electrolytes in gatorade to create a solution with visible chains of DNA, to see if you can tell the difference between different humans and even animals (getting the sample from the cat was a real pleasure- helpful Dad). I expected similar work from her fellow 8th Graders. After all teachers approved this stuff.

Instead I was greeted with such projects as “Will I last longer if I play as a bad guy in 'Fable II'?” and “How long will different Kool-Aid flavors dye my hair?” There were also several kids who did the old “Bread Mold- which one develops faster” trick, which each of my kids did in 4th Grade.

I suppose I don't fault the kids for going with what interests them, but why the hell are teachers approving this and letting people think its science? There were a couple of other kids, probably four including The Daughter, who didn't cop out and did something which taught as well as used scientific method. And a few at least had hypothesis/test/result formats. I don't understand though why we are letting ourselves get away with this.

Further- there were no prizes handed out. Only participation ribbons, all of which were blue. And, the whole thing, literally all of it, was over in 30 minutes. The last pep rally took an hour.

I know public education has its problems, but how many are self induced? Have we beaten these teachers into submission with low salaries and PC rules? Do I really need a computer in every classroom just to tell a kid that playing a video game isn't science?

Oh- by the way. Playing “Fable II” aggressively and not bothering to think about what your doing makes you last longer. Thanks for the life lesson, kid.

The Daughter is looking for passage off planet.