Thursday, July 16, 2009

Things I learned in my move.

Having just completed a move from my beloved Great Northwest to my nostalgia filled (read that as "haunted by my past") Great Southwest, I learned some things along the way. As is the nature of blogging, I will now share those things with you!

I am being followed by Birds of Prey.
I had a pair of Bald Eagles in Washington who liked to poop on my car on the Highway. Now the joker above stalks my back yard. Yikes.

Direct TV Hates Military People.
I had DTV in WA, and the Lovely Jennifer called them to tell them we were moving and would be cutting our service. After trying for quite some time to get us to transfer, they rather snootily informed us we would need to cut our service off two weeks before we move to allow time to receive a "recovery kit." This is basically a Fed Ex box with a return sticker inside. DTV then didn't send the box. When I called them to tell them I would be moving before they could now send me the box, they told me I would have to take it with me, and then Fed Ex it from Arizona. I said that was ridiculous, and if someone could come to my house to put it in, they could come to pick it up. The rep told me they don't work that way. So, I told them I would take the receiver with me, but if it received damage on the trip, too bad. Also, since they were unwilling to make up for their mistake of not sending the kit in the first place, they would forever lose me as a customer. They were willing to accept that. No offer of coupons, no make you a deal, just basically "fuck off, we have enough customers." I know I have no method of really hurting them, but starting right here, they have purchased a lot of bad publicity. Oh- when I moved into my new house, I got another recovery kit- for the people who just left. A kit sent too late, just like mine. No regard for the military. Want to be a Patriot and support your troops? Cut off Direct TV, and tell them why.

The United States Post Office Charges to Change Your Address.
We did a COA card with no problem in WA. When I get here to finalize, the PO has nothing but little cards with a website. I go to the website and in order to "confirm my identity" they need my Credit Card, which will be charged a dollar for verification. Yeah, I know- it's a dollar. Now, multiply that by everyone who moves in a month's time. Hey USPS, how does it feel to be on the brink of extinction? My beloved internet will be spitting on your grave in the near future... The same internet the USPS used to SEND ME SPAM as part of my verification process! That's right, "now you've changed your address, would you like to receive special deals or magazines?" All that was missing were ads for penis enlargement and cialis.

St. George, Utah is a really pretty town.
One of the stops we made in the 1900 mile journey. They were about to have a Shakespeare festival too...

I like them. Haven't been on one since I was three, but I like them. Some of them even like me. They like The Daughter more...

Direct TV Sucks.
Yeah, I know we covered that, but I wanted to make sure I got the point across. I am all for Free Market, but the simple fact is when a corporation get so big losing a single customer, or even a hundred, doesn't actually have affect we are no longer in a consumer controlled economy. Corporatism is just as totalitarian as Collectivism.

Hoover Dam is neat.
I bet Hoover's ghost likes it much better than Hooverville.

I lose complete contact with the world without my beloved internet.
Seriously, I am oddly unable to communicate with people far away by any other means than the web. I won't even pick up a phone- it's awful. I'll talk your ear off in person, and have a multitude of web presences... Yet, I was out of touch with everyone the week I had no internet.

I don't need TV.
I don't. Having been off-put by my DTV experience (did I mention they suck?), I decided not to get cable TV either. It occurred to me I was paying for 200 channels so I could watch five, all of which stream programming on my beloved internet. William Gibson was right, all I need is the brain jack.

So, are these important lessons? No, likely not, but they were fun to learn. The important thing to take away here is...

Direct TV Sucks.

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